'Disrespectful punk' tells uncle to 'mind his own business' in front of family. AITA?
"AITA for telling my uncle to mind his own business in front of everyone?"
This happened on the 4th of July, but I'm still getting flak from my Dad so I figured I'd ask the internet. Some background I (17F) and my family gather at my Aunt's(Dad's sister) house on the 4th for a BBQ and hangout as a family.
My dad and his family are mostly Irish as their mom/my grandma came to the US from Ireland when she was 20 and pregnant with her oldest. However, the only culture they kept was the drinking stereotype.
This year, my sister (24F), we'll call her Jenny, brought her boyfriend (25M), who we'll call Eddie, to meet our dad's side of the family. Eddie doesn't drink, and my uncle, Dave, likes to make stuff like that his business.
Throughout the evening Dave sees that Eddie isn't drinking and is refusing alcoholic drinks, he walks over and offers a beer. Almost everyone was outside, I was inside getting a pop/soda and Eddie was about to go back outside. This conversation ensues:
Dave - Do you want a beer?
Eddie - No thanks.
Dave - We have other kinds if you want to try those, this is an Irish household we have plenty of beer.
Eddie - No thanks, I don't drink.
Dave - Why? You're too young to be an alcoholic or do you just like pretending you're better than people by not drinking?
Now I'm listening, Uncle Dave has a habit of acting like this, he tries to egg people on, he even got into a fist fight with his niece at her own wedding. Eddie's father is an alcoholic, and Eddie just doesn't like the taste. Dave bugged Eddie for another 5 minutes before I said
Me - Uncle Dave, can you just mind your own damn business? He doesn't have to tell you anything.
Dave didn't like that and after telling me I was "A disrespectful punk with no care for authority" went outside to the patio. I found out later he complained to my dad about me cursing at him. Once home later that night, after getting an earful from my dad on the car ride home. Eddie thanked me for standing up for him.
My dad says I had no right to say that to my uncle and need to apologize for being rude. I tried to ask about my uncle questioning Eddie about something that was none of Dave's business, but my dad just got mad that I was calling him "Dave" and not "Uncle Dave." So, AITA?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
jcgreen_72 said:
So rudeness is forbidden, unless it's from your uncle. Got it. NTA what an ahole.
Betshateseverything said:
NTA. Sounds like you’re the only one with balls.
Totally NTA - Dave and your dad are definitely a couple of jerks.
RaineMist said:
NTA. Uncle Dave should be minding his own business because why does he care whether someone drinks or not?
thecamerachef said:
NTA. And why is always a crazy uncle. People choose not to drink. They aren’t being disrespectful. They just don’t drink ffs. I’m so sorry you had to go through that.
Happy_Disaster_8460 said:
NTA. However, both your dad and Dave are absolute aholes. It is not Dave’s concerns whatsoever why Eddie doesn’t drink, and your dad is enabling your uncle. You did the right thing.
EpsonRifle said:
NTA. Also your Dad's family aren't "mostly Irish" & your Uncle was wrong it isn't "an Irish house." The only member of your Dad's immediate family that's Irish is his mother. He & his siblings are all American. The house you were all drinking in is an American house.
This bizarre pretending to be the ethnicity you are descended from that goes on in America is super unhealthy. I remember being in a bar in the middle of nowhere in California (Grass Valley in fact) listening to this fella dressed like a cosplay cowboy...
(He was a town planner) complete with revolver in a holster on his hip tell me that he spoke with the same Irish accent as his "grandpappy" in a broad Californian accent. What a melt.