'AITA for ditching family get-togethers since my in-laws keep pushing me to have a baby?'

"AITA for telling my in-laws I won’t be attending family gatherings anymore as long as they keep pushing me to have a baby?"

I (32f) am together with my boyfriend (34m) for 2 years now, living together for 1 year. When we started dating we discussed some important life decisions to make sure that we had the same vision for our future.

Staying childfree was the main thing we both agreed on immediately simply because we have our personal reasons for it due to situations we’ve seen in previous relationships and with family and friends. It’s not that we hate kids, we love all the children around us and act like the fun aunt and uncle. We just don’t feel like we’re missing out on something and are completely happy with our live.

I am an only child and my mother totally respects my choice for staying childfree although she would love to become a grandmother. My boyfriends family on the other hand are not as understanding.

My boyfriend has a brother and a sister. His brother already has a son who’s 7 now and won’t be having a second, his sister is thriving in her single era and isn’t planning on having children in the near future. But his parents clearly want more grandchildren.

Every family gathering ever since the day I met his parents, the topic of us having children is being brought up. I was very honest from the beginning and told them respectfully that I don’t see myself becoming a mother and my boyfriend always backed me up by telling them that he feels the same way as me about having a child. And then they always try to change out mind, asking the “why not?”

Although we already explained. And stating that having a baby together is the most beautiful act of love and many other things that I don’t agree with personally, with all respect for people who do choose to have babies.

There once even was a comment of his mother stating that I made him change his mind because he always said he wanted children before he met me. But I know his reasons and they have nothing to do with my opinions on it. I always bit my tongue and tried to change the subject but they still don’t seem to get it.

So the last time we all got together it started as a fun evening with laughs and updating on our lives until the question popped up again. I was so sick of having this discussion over and over again so I just stood up and said “I’m not having this conversation anymore, and as long as keep bringing up this subject I will not be attending these family gatherings anymore.”

And asked my boyfriend if we could leave. He immediately agreed and before anyone had a chance to say something he simply said to his family to stop pushing the baby fever on me and grabbed our coats. His dad stood up and tried to stop us from leaving and his mother started crying.

His sister was too shocked to say anything and after we came home he received a call from his brother, saying that we were wrong for leaving and threatening with not coming over anytime soon if things don’t change. Also they all thought that I made that statement for the both of us but I made it very clear to my boyfriend that he can go whenever he likes, that this is a decision I made for myself and myself only.

My boyfriend is now receiving messages from the family, telling him that he needs to rethink his life choices because I will ruin his life. So AITAH?

This is what people had to say to OP:

Chance-Contract-1290 said:

NTA. The issue should have been dropped once you made your stance clear the first time.

Top_Turnip_4737 said:

NTA. My MIL is like this right now. I just turned 29, and every time we’re around her she keeps reminding us that we’re getting old and need to have kids ASAP. She keeps telling me I’m going to have a hard time getting pregnant, might miscarry, and I don’t want to be old struggling to usher kids around on a playground.

So I need to start NOW. I do want kids in the future, but she’s turning me off about the idea of having kids 🙃

bdayqueen said:

NTA - Get a big jar (like the cheese balls one) and put a "Intrusive Questions $5" label on it. Take it to every gathering and put it on the table next to you. Every time someone asks a question, hold the jar out until they put money it or walk away.

And Hidden_Vixen21 said:

It’s not a threat. It is an established consequence to their rude and disrespectful behavior.