'AITA for divorcing my husband for leaving my dogs outside when I’m on work trips?'
"AITA for divorcing my husband for leaving my dogs outside when I’m on work trips?"
I (34f) am married to my husband (36m) and have been for 3 years. I have 2 dogs that I have had since before I married him. My dogs are like my children and he knows this and I thought that was how he thought of them.
My job requires me to go on a lot of trips throughout the month. These trips can vary from 3 days to 3 weeks. Before I started this job I did talk to my husband as I explained I would be away a lot and it would leave him to take care of the house.
Before you say it’s not his job to take care of the dogs. I did say he wouldn’t have to do much just feed them dinner as I would feed them breakfast (unless I’m away) and that’s it as I would walk them when I get home. He agreed and it all seemed fine.
Now fast forward to a month ago, I had a work trip coming up and it was quite a long one. It would be for 2 weeks and I had prepared my husband for it, telling him what needs to be done. He told me not to worry and he would be fine so I left it at that.
On the day I had to leave for my trip I said goodbye and got in the taxi, when I arrived I settled in and did the usual, however I got a text from my mum saying if something happened with my dogs? I was really confused and asked her what did she mean? She said she went round to drop off some things and saw my dogs tied up on the front porch. I was shocked and told her to send a picture.
I told her to untie my dogs and take them with her. And I would cancel my trip and come home. Once I got home and opened the front door, my husband was in the living room on the phone with someone sounding alarmed. I tried to act normal and walked up to him. He seemed surprised to see him and then very worried. I asked him what’s wrong and he said he lost my dogs.
I knew what had really happened but I played along. I said how? And he sheepishly told me he had locked them outside for making to much noise and someone must have taken them. I was disappointed to say the least. I asked him why would he do that and he said they were annoying him and it shouldn’t be his responsibility.
I went up stairs, packed a bag, and left to go stay at my mum's. He asked me where I was going as I tried to leave the door. I said I was taking a break to think things over. Since I got to my mum's he has been blowing up my phone calling me over dramatic.
Even my mil has been calling me dramatic and selfish. I haven’t told him I have my dogs. But it’s not just about that, it’s about the fact that I don’t trust him anymore. I have decided to get a divorce after speaking to my mum and best friend. My dogs are my priority. Let me know AITA?….
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
churchofdan said:
NTA You set a clear boundary. If he wasn't up to the task, he could've suggested boarding them. That may have pissed you off, but at least it would have been honest. Seeing as this wasn't your first trip, he's probably done it before.
ladylyrande said:
NTA. I don't understand those people saying he's not responsible for the dogs. He is. Dogs where there before they got married. He knew going in dogs were part of the household and he might need to care specially if she always traveled for work. Wtf wrong with you people? No wonder relationships fails when you don't treat it like a partnership instead of this mine vs yours bs.
Also the problem isn't putting the dogs away for a few hours (which is bad if they aren't used to being tied outside). It's the lying. He hid it from her. How many times did he do it before? I wouldn't be able to trust him either.
Jadaluvr12 said:
"Hey honey, I actually don't feel comfortable watching the dogs. Can we ask someone else or tind a kennel?" All it would have taken from him. NTA.
Purple-Rose69 said:
NTA. The point is he said he was okay with watching her dogs while she was on trips. I would imagine that if he didn’t want to, she would have made other arrangements. She relied upon him as to his word he was okay with this. But in reality he wasn’t and did not communicate that to her. He chose to put the dogs in a situation where they were taken. That is on him.
What if this was a child he was responsible for and the child was crying, it makes me wonder what kind of choices he would make when equally frustrated with a crying child. No a dog is not exactly the same but both are living breathing and 100% dependent upon an adult to make the right choices in their care. He endangered the dogs by choice. I would not trust him either.
Kittytigris said:
NTA, he knew you had dogs. If he doesn’t like the dogs, he shouldn’t have dated you in the first place. How would he like being tied outside because he was making too much noise?
kikivee612 said:
NTA. You can’t trust anyone who would hurt a dog. You weren’t even gone a day! Thank goodness your mom drove by when she did!