Tldr my wife cheated on me and after everyone in our families started calling me names for divorcing my wife i decided to tell everyone the reason which made my wife furious.
I decided that i needed to clear everything between us before I file so we can have a clean divorce, I called my wife and told her to meet me to talk, I asked her to meet me in a park near my house.
When my wife came she hugged me and she asked me to let's go home, I refused and said I asked her to meet me to clear things up between us, which made her a bit angry and she said I am being unreasonable.
I said wouldn't you be angry if you found out I was drinking and dancing and kissing other women and hiding it all from you? She said she would but she wouldn't throw away a relationship of 6 years over this.
I said that is easy for you to say cause you cheated and I didn't and I just want a clean divorce, she asked me why am I not open to reconciliation, I said cause you broke my trust and I don't want to spend rest of my life worrying about what my wife is doing behind my back and how would I know if it's only just a kiss and nothing else happened and she didn't or wouldn't kiss anyone else? I just want a divorce.
She said divorce is a long and extreme and she loves me and she said she's sorry and she will try to delay as much as possible cause she doesn't want to lose me, I said I am sorry as well but I am done, I love you but you stepped out of marriage, let's not fight and you keep what's yours and I keep what's mine.
I told her that I have evidence of your infidelity and also you tried to throw our families against me, I tried to keep it between us but you went too far and I only told them the truth after they were harrassing me and I still hid it from your coworkers so it doesn't get difficult for you in your workplace, let's just divorce.
Well I don't know anything about legal process and yes I did pulled all that out of my butt, My wife cried a bit and I hugged her and told her that it's over, there is no fixing this, we love each other but love is not everything when it comes to marriage I can't forgive you for kissing some random man and I left.
I have been ignoring her texts and I am going to look for and fill, but I also truly don't understand what's up with all these people telling me 'its just a kiss'? How do you know? Even I don't know if it's just 1 kiss or it happened before or it was more than that?
No matter how tough or expensive it is I am going through it, I have made up my mind I won't back down, I don't want to be like one of those men who forgive their cheating wives only to find out later that wife is still cheating or those who gets cheated on and is raising someone else's kid obliviously or find out later on that child isn't biologically his.
I meaaan if she didn't want anyone knowing, then why did she do it? Go o with your divorce man. Your peace matters. NTA.
throwaaaay2671761 (OP)
From what I got from her she expected that I won't divorce her if our families ends up convincing me, tbh I didn't want to involve others and I am still trying my best to involve others by not shaming her infront of her coworkers.
I didn't want to tell anyone cause it's all between us but she forced my hand to the point my family started harassing me and I still don't want to help her cause I love her but I feel like I am not unreasonable but my wife is?
Probably been doing this for so long and you just found out. Let her go.... she dont deserve you at alll.
NTA. Would she have kissed them if you were in the room? That answer means she knew what she was doing and how wrong it was and what the consequences would be.
She has been manipulative every step of the way, and the only way she'd get better would be at being manipulative. You did the best thing you could do, and anybody who tried to minimize the disrespect she levied is somebody you should remove from your life yesterday.
NTA. You’re not wrong for standing up for yourself—trust is the foundation of any marriage, and she smashed it with that ‘just a kiss’ excuse. People saying ‘it’s just a kiss’ aren’t in your shoes and don’t get the emotional toll of betrayal. You’re doing what’s best for you, and that takes guts. Keep your boundaries strong and let her deal with the consequences of her actions. You’ve got this.
She sounds very manipulative. She cheated but makes you out to be the unreasonable one. How does that work!? Get rid and tell everyone why. Sounds like she's just in reputation rehabilitation mode.
NTA. What did she think was going to happen when she ran to tell everyone and left out the details when she did it? You were just supposed to accept the undeserved loathing of everyone you know? I think not. You’re not obligated to forgive someone breaking your trust. I wish you a speedy divorce.