BedNormals writes:
My ex-wife (32F) and I (33M) finalized our divorce last year, and she had already moved in with her affair partner. We were married for 5 years and together for 10, and it hurt a lot.
Over the past year, it’s pretty clear that my ex-wife’s new boyfriend is an awful person and doesn't treat her well. It honestly makes me want to beat up the dude, and my ex-wife’s mental health has completely tanked.
My ex-wife has called me a few times over the last couple of months, and it’s obvious she’s struggling. I’ve asked her multiple times to just cut it off with him and pack up her bags and move in with her parents, but she doesn’t want to because she feels isolated from her parents after our divorce. She is also a SAHM to her boyfriend's daughter, so she feels even more trapped.
She asked me if I could pick her up and if she could stay with me for a while. I am not scared of that dude whatsoever, and if I wanted to, I could just drive over to their house and pick her up right now. But I told her I won’t do that, and she has to get the courage to just step out and go to her parents or just ask her friends for help.
My ex-wife is obviously struggling really bad, but I’m also not a humanitarian; there are a lot of people in this world who are suffering. I’m not a superman who can save everyone, and I have to pick my own battles for my mental sanity. AITAH for not helping my ex-wife leave her boyfriend?
Update after the comments.
Here are the top comments:
Pineapple-85 says:
NTA - You need to cut contact. She is trying to drag you into a hot a%@ mess. It is not your job to fix her mistakes. Sadly, she made her bed, and now she needs to lay in it.
It is disrespectful as hell that she reaches out to you to complain about the life she left you for. She literally could not care less about your feelings.
Reach out to her parents. Let them know your concerns and that you do not plan on getting involved. And plan on not having contact with her any longer so they may want to check up on her.
Least-Weather8703 says:
Buddy, it's time to cut ties with your ex-wife permanently. She made her choices, and it's not your responsibility to save her from the consequences. Focus on your own well-being and let her figure things out on her own.
panachi19 says:
NTA. She has to clean up her own messes.
OP provided an update:
I called my ex wife this morning before leaving for work, and told her I was going to cut off all contact with her after the call and block her number. I again told her to please just get out her relationship and just go home to her parents.
Yes, she feels isolated from her parents, but they are her parents after all, and they will accept her in. She was crying really bad, but I told her there isn’t much I can do anymore. I then hung up the call and blocked her.
I think cutting off all contact with her is necessary to protect my mental sanity. I am not going to contact her parents. I am just going to remove myself from this situation entirely. Yes, I am really worried for her, but I can’t help or save everyone in the world. I wished I could, but I can’t. I need to look after myself and move on with my life.
What do you think?