Husband buckles under the weight of decade-long chicken parmesan deception. AITA? + UPDATE
"Do I tell my wife the truth after 11 years?"
When we first started dating, my girlfriend asked me what my favorite meal was so she could cook it for me for our one month anniversary. We were 16, and I told her my favorite meal was Chicken Parmesan.
She cooked it for me from scratch, and it was delicious. However, I realized that what I meant to say was Chicken Alfredo. I felt bad that she went out of her way to cook what she thought was my favorite meal, so I didn’t correct her- or myself.
Fast forward to now. We’ve been together for 11 years, we’ve been married for 2 years and once a month or so she still makes chicken parm for me because she thinks it’s my favorite. It’s good, but it’s really just not my favorite. At this point, it’s way too late to tell her the truth, right?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP’s post:
Ask her to make chicken alfredo and hype is up so much and say “I might be reaching, but this MIGHT be my new favorite, how did you manage to do that?!” And just talk about it so much.
And then when she asks what you want for a special dinner, pretend to be stuck between the two, scratch your head and sigh, and say “you know, I really think i want chicken alfredo, last time you made it, it was so good I’ve been craving it ever since”.
You shouldn't say it like that. You should say that lately you wanted to try Alfredo. Then you praise the high heavens out of it and say wow it might be even better.
Idk if my husband said “my love, I love your chicken parm. But I have a terrible secret. I said the wrong meal that day and for years I’ve held onto that because I was touched you did it. I meant chicken Alfredo. I couldn’t hold it in anymore.
I would love to try it from you.” (Yes he talks like that) I would probably laugh my ass off for 20 minutes that he’s been stressed by his mistake this long. Funny stories are the best part of a long life together.
?? yes. I think so. I think now you must eat that stuff for the rest of your freaking life. I DIED laughing at this.
If she's sensitive, she could interpret this as her efforts of 11 years being pointless, so I wouldn't tell her. What you can tell her, though, is that your taste has changed. That's totally normal. Just something like that you've been craving chicken Alfredo recently, and whether she could make it, please. And then you just keep talking about how good it was.
Nine days later, the OP returned with an update.
I’m glad my travesty brought so many of you joy. I apologize for taking so long to update you all, but I was vexed with a life-altering decision and needed to weigh the responses I received.
I ultimately decided to tell my wife the truth. I’m not sure I made the right decision after all, because I am far more embarrassed now than I ever was over this. I have never seen my wife laugh the way she did that night.
Just when I thought she was done laughing, she would start up all over again. We now have this incredible inside joke for the rest of our lives together. Huge thank you to everyone who commented their advice.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP’s post:
I did this for over 10 years. I swore that I heard my dad say he loved french toast, pancakes, etc, so every morning he had custody I would make him a plate and we'd eat together as a family.
I was 24 by the time he said "you know, I really hate breakfast foods in general, but I couldn't tell you because you got so excited about making us breakfast I hated the idea of making you stop." I don't want to think about how many breakfasts he shoveled down that he genuinely hated.
I once read about a granddad/dad/husband who loved banana bread. He got his own special loaf for something like forty years. Grandma finally tells grandkids and her daughter/their mom that grandpa doesn’t really like banana bread. He, in fact, hates it. He choked it down because the people he loved baked it just for him.
Reminds me of the post or story I read on here (may have been a comment) of a man who for some reason told his eventual wife, very early in their relationship, that he liked to have his coffee with salt instead of sugar because it reminded him of the sea.
He was lying to cover up mistaking salt for sugar, and his eventual wife made his coffee with salt every morning for the rest of their lives and he either never told her or didn't tell her for DECADES. I think the person telling the story was one of the guy's now adult children.
This is so cute lol.
So, for about 45ish years my mum has been making stuffed capsicums regularly. One day about 6 or so years ago she offered me some stuffed capsicum that she had in the freezer. I thank her but say "no thanks, I don't really like them". She says "me either". She then asks my dad because she knows he loves them. He says "no thank you, I don't really like them to be honest".
My mum was shocked. She has been making them for 45 years, for him! He just never said anything because he didn't want her to feel bad. Turns out none of us particularly like them and we have spent decades eating them out of politeness, and then one day the time was right for the politeness to run out.
It's a running joke in our family now, and mum and dad use it as an example of things you do for the people you love. At least this guy above liked his meal, it just wasn't his favourite, and he only had it for 11 years.