When this woman is concerned for her 'crazy single sister' she asks Reddit:
My (34F) sister (31F) has always been jealous of me. It's put a lot of strain on our family over the years, especially because she tries to displace her feelings elsewhere.
For context, I met my husband in college and we were married 9 years ago. He's always been able to support our family of 6 - 4 kids between 7y-18mo - and I've been able to devote myself to my family entirely as a SAHM.
I not only take care of the family, but also go to PTA meetings and am involved in the school community as well.
My sister, meanwhile, has none of this. She claims she doesn't want kids, and has never been able to make a relationship work. She was in graduate school for a while, but claimed that it made her miserable, so she dropped out without even finishing a degree.
She always says that she's 'focusing on her career,' but - what career? She has a job in an industry known for not making any money.
Granted, she has a high-level position within her organization, but again, no matter how high she goes, she's never going to make a lot of money.
She also has been living with a (male) co-worker for a few years now, even though they're not romantically involved. She says she 'isn't interested' in a romantic relationship with him or anyone else, and that he feels the same way.
Recently, she came to visit. She was telling my husband and I, and our parents, about a conference that she went to recently, and was excited because everyone there seemed to already know who she was (she had recently gotten a 'promotion.')
She started going on about it right after I shared how great my kids were doing in school, and it honestly felt very defensive, like she was trying to justify her lifestyle because my family was doing so well. It made me a little annoyed, but mostly sad for her.
That night, I caught her videochatting with her coworker/roommate. She has a stuffed dog that he gave her for Christmas named 'Harold,' and she was talking to her coworker as if 'Harold' was an actual baby.
''Goodnight [roommate], I wuv you! I miss snuggling with you!'' while making the dog's paw wave. I was completely creeped out. It is NOT healthy to think of a stuffed animal as your own child, let alone talk to it like one???
I confronted her. She tried to laugh it off and said that it was just a silly thing she does with her roommate, and refused to acknowledge the deeper issues there.
I got frustrated and told her that it was creepy to be jealous enough to pretend a stuffed animal was her child, and that if she had wanted to be a mother than she should have made that happen for herself years ago instead of ruining her chances at happiness by focusing on a job.
She laughed at me in the moment and said 'why would I be jealous of you?' Later my husband told me he thought he heard her crying in the bathroom.
AITA for trying to give my sister a much needed reality check? I feel like she needed to hear that if she ever wants to have a real family, and not just a literal toy that she pretends is a baby.
louzy689 writes:
I think a telling comment was when she said her sister ‘couldn’t make a relationship work’. Sister sounds happy with her life and this screams projection of OPs own struggles. YTA.
littlefrog makes this interesting point:
YTA OP. Maybe sister legitimately has a close platonic friendship with him. It’s super common with asexuals and aromantics.
OP’s sister could very well be aro ace, which would absolutely explain why prior relationships didn’t work, and either doesn’t want to tell the sister Or doesn’t realize it herself yet, because aces and aros get virtually NO representation in media.
sparklingonion writes:
The thing that stuck out to me was how she put ‘promotion’ in quotes. And I can’t decide if OP is just an AH or a delusional one by thinking that her sister talking about her recent conference and promotion is somehow a way to justify her lifestyle because she’s jealous of how great OP’s life is??!!!