'I'm a double affair baby who was rejected by both sets of siblings so I say I'm an only child. AITA?'
"I'm a double affair baby who was rejected by both sets of siblings so I say I'm an only child. AITA?"
I'm (25m) a double affair baby meaning my mom and dad were both married to other people, cheated on their spouses and conceived me. They ended up marrying each other after their divorces were finalized and they raised me together. Their kids from their first marriages did not accept me and do not claim me as a sibling.
I always felt their hostility when I was a kid. They were all moved out by the time I was 9 and I saw them a handful of times after, the last being 7 years ago, and those handful of times they were very clear about not wanting to talk to me and how I was not their brother or their family. I mean one even told me the world would be a better place if I'd never been born or if I had died.
Because of all this I claim I'm an only child when people ask. I never say I have siblings, half or otherwise. That's just my preference and I find it easier. Plus I only have siblings through genetics. Not through a bond or anything else. I'm pretty sure they would all leave me for dead on the side of the road if the chance ever occurred.
This became a topic because I'm engaged to the cousin of a former childhood friend. He and I were friends most of our lives until we hit junior year and he turned into a real dick and our friendship ended. My fiancée and I met years later and she knows my background and she said she would also consider me an only child also.
So she has zero issues. She also has issues with her cousin. I didn't even realize they were related until a while later. But in the last couple of months he's appeared at a couple of family parties and he brought up the fact I claim the only child label. He never had an issue with it before but he said I was being childish and a liar by claiming that I am.
Then I have a few relatives (not my parents I'm no contact with them) who get upset when they realize I don't claim my siblings. We have discussed how if they don't claim me or count me when talking about siblings they have then I won't count them.
The family members tell me that could change and I could avoid awkwardness by letting people know so if I have a relationship with any of them in the future I won't end up with egg on my face. AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Couette-Couette said:
They don't see you as a sibling and obviously it won't change in the future (you are 25 and the younger one so everyone involved here has been an adult for years) so NTA.
AlarmingControl2103 said:
So if i Just met you, these people want you to answer the simple "any siblings?" Question with some long story including drama and trauma? No, thanks, just say no.
74Magick said:
Good grief. Of course you know the actions of your parents are absolutely no fault of yours, live your life and add anyone who gives you shit to the block list. Congratulations and best wishes! NTA.
Onyx_Maiden said:
Nta. We don't claim ppl who hate us. It's that simple. My father had 4 children before having me. We were never raised in the same house. And I'm only 4 years older than his eldest grandchild. We've never really had much contact. I'm my mother's only child. I was raised alone. I'm an only child. If I have to refer to them, they're my father's children, never my half siblings.
TotallyAwry said:
NTA. You were bought up as an only child. Your older half siblings are suddenly going to turn around and want a relationship, and even if they did why would the egg be on your face?
The awkwardness wouldn't be on your side. You're not the one who blamed a literal baby for the families breaking up. What a load of old cobblers. Tell them to stick it up their arse. Probably more politely than that, though.
chasingkaty said:
NTA. I claim I only have one brother, when I also have two step siblings and a half brother. Marriage and biology means nothing.
superwholockian62 said:
NTA Who's to say you will want a relationship if they change their mind? I wouldn't.