'AITA for dumping my (now ex) BF's belongings on his grandma's porch after he engagement pranked me?'

"AITA for dumping all of my (now ex) BF's personal belongings on his Grandma's porch after he engagement pranked me in front of his entire family?"

I (F37) built a small online business. I went solo after the initial group I was going to work with basically did nothing but toss around some ideas and demand endless meetings that took place too often aside from daily calls that led nowhere. It was a vicious circle and I realized that they had zero knowledge of what they were trying to achieve and were pretty much using me as a resource.

I removed myself from their presence and started to do my own thing. The minute that I had to invest in actually creating my company was when it became official that they had zero claim as they never wanted to put down a penny but wanted to latch on to other people for knowledge, money, contacts. Etc.

Important: I developed my own idea that I refused to put on the table. I’m very cautious about getting involved with other people business wise. This is important to the story because it was a huge lesson. Also, none of my boyfriends have been allowed insight into my finances/career/business life.

Things are very stable for me. I’ve been dipping my toes in acquisition and bought two small companies for a very modest price and have been working on growing them. I met my (now) ex-boyfriend, Kenny M38, around the time I bought one of the tiny companies. I’m not a naturally extroverted person, so we had situations when he tried to ask about my finances.

All he knows is that I’m self-employed a few superficial details but I’m not comfortable sharing more than that. We were together for 2 years, and I did open up to him about so many things about my childhood and myself that I thought he was my best friend.

He introduced me to his family and everything. I would have loved to have a long-term relationship, but he flat out said he wasn’t interested in marriage. This hurt a lot, but I had no choice but to respect his decision and see how I could best deal with my feelings. He said he still wanted our relationship but there will be no marriage.

Fast forward and he invited his family over to his house. I brought some food and got to spend time with his Grandma. Everything was okay until his siblings started to low key pitching me business ideas.

I made the stupid move to use the excuse that I didn’t have access to my computer to read the stuff they were sending me, so they brought me a tablet. I was surprised and put off, but when BIL said something that led me to think they thought I could invest, I politely disengaged and went back to the BBQ.

Kenny changed after that. He hardly held my hand or gave me affection. It was such a drastic change that I asked what was going on and he point blank said he needed a different kind of person by his side. I was so surprised at his bluntness that I couldn’t even react except by avoiding asking more questions because I kind of knew it was because of the BBQ.

I know Kenny would love for his family to be successful, but I wouldn’t agree on being someone’s “step of the ladder”. I’m not wealthy. I just have some nice things because I’ve done my best to look after myself and pulled my own weight and I hate being used. Kenny has had issues holding down a job for a year but won’t tell me what’s going on and that’s fine, we will never be married nor build a home together.

Last December, I was still trying to build the courage to walk away from the relationship as I saw no way out and this affected my libido (and he complained). His grandmother invited everyone to a family reunion. I attended because she’s such a sweet old lady and she was looking forward to my cheesecake and I really didn't mind. She’s Kenny’s paternal grandma. My ex-Fil and ex-Mil are divorced.

I don’t know how to verbalize this because I'm so mad, but Kenny used that occasion to engagement-prank me. As background, this pranking thing put a dent in our relationship and was one of the thighs we had many issues about. His pranks made me feel stressed out and had a humiliation component.

Because of this, I stopped talking to him for two weeks before he told me that marriage wasn’t a possibility. He stopped doing it after I cut him off.

So, I was trying to get some punch and noticed everyone looking at me and like there were a lot more people in the living room.

I’m kind of dense when surrounded by crowds, and I think this was a little helpful because it took me a hot minute to understand what was happening. I turned around and saw Kenny kneeling down. Initially, I thought he was trying to do a dancing skeet or whatever. He drew a small box and handed it to me, and he was laughing. I was petrified because things didn’t make sense.

He opened the box on my face and showed a small aluminum foil ring in it. I immediately turned around and kept walking. I wish everything had died right there. Everyone was laughing. I had to fight back my tears because for a split second during all the confusion, I thought it might be true. He followed me to my car along with some of his relatives.

All I wanted was to leave as soon as possible because I was ashamed. I exploded when he wouldn't shut up and tried to get me to relax and go back to the party. I'm embarrassed because I know I made a scene by driving home and gathering all his shit and leaving it in a trash bag on his grandma's porch and his family saw me.

He tried to reach out and asked me to apologize to his family and that I caused him problems by writing all his failures in our group chat. I don't know if I should even apologize to his grandma as the whole trash bag with his belongings drama took place outside and she wasn't around.

I don't think I should apologize but also, I know some of the onlookers seemed perplexed and embarrassed. AITA? I already dumped him.

What do you think? AITA? This is what commenters had to say:

InteractionNo9110 said:

He was jealous of your success and bragged to his family. He could get you to invest in their hare-brained ideas. When you didn't it made him look dumb to his family. So he started chipping away at your confidence. The prank engagement was the topper. You did the right thing dumping him.

He wasn't on your level. And probably just wanted to use you as a purse. You deserve better. Marriage isn't end game in life. You have so much more ahead of you. Glad you got that anchor off your neck. I would just leave it alone and block all the numbers. Just move on.

Kratos3770 said:

Nope, NTA. And don't apologize, he never wants to get married and you never apologize to assholes. Done.

WavesnMountains said:

NTA you should’ve dumped him a long time before then, he also deserved the humiliation after his prank

Right_Bee_9809 said:

NTA And for tle love of God don't apologize. We have all fallen in love with complete idiots, but now that you're free you can enjoy your life.

LLJKSiLk said:

NTA. I'd block and move on. Don't even give him a reason. If he's too dense to figure it out then explaining it won't help.

And forgetregret1day said:

People who pull these so called pranks are simply cruel. There is not one funny thing about humiliating someone in front of a group of strangers, especially when it concerns a sensitive subject. I hope he spends the rest of his miserable life alone, since that’s exactly what he deserves. I don’t know what he was playing at, thinking that was in any way a prank.

I’m so sorry you were hurt by this idiot but I’m glad you’re out of it. You have nothing to apologize for and I’m sure his poor grandma is mortified to have such a moron for a grandson. You’ve built yourself a great life and now you’re open to meet someone you deserve. NTA for dumping his crap - though I wouldn’t have wasted a perfectly good garbage bag on him.