'AITA for eating ice cream every night just like I always do and not stopping just bc my SIL doesn't want my niece to see it?'
"AITA for eating ice cream every night just like I always do and not stopping just bc my SIL doesn't want my niece to see it?"
Most nights after dinner, I eat a small ice cream cone. It’s literally the little “joy mini cups” with a teeny scoop of ice cream. Maybe a big scoop if I’m having a rough day but that’s kinda rare. I don’t drink alcohol or smoke weed or do anything “fun” so this is my one fun thing I do for myself.
My brother and his wife and daughter are staying with me for a few weeks, they’ll be gone by June 15. I’m happy to have them here. Usually we’ll eat dinner together and go our separate ways for the evening. They watch a lot of TV so they’re usually all in the living room watching.
I’ve been eating my lil cone, but my sister in law approached me and asked me if I could stop. She said that my niece is starting to ask why she doesn’t get to have ice cream and that obviously she was lied to by my sister in law when she told her ice cream is a sometimes food, haha.
I said that I wasn’t going to stop but I could wait until she was in bed. I figured that was a good compromise and I do get that she’s trying to raise her little girl to have a healthy relationship with food. But waiting until she was in bed didn’t work because she came into the kitchen multiple times to ask me for some.
My SIL was definitely a little incredulous over it and kept saying “Really? Do you seriously NEED to eat ice cream every single day?” or stuff like it. I said no, but she also doesn’t need to drink a glass of wine every day either.
She didn’t like this and sighed a bunch and has been visibly annoyed with me since then. My brother asked me if I could stop just to avoid the drama, but I said I deserve my little treats. AITA?
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
Tell her to stop drinking wine everyday. This is your home. You are an adult. Tell her to not bring wine into your home. NTA.
I would give her ice cream ever day. At least she could enjoy being a kid for a few days before she goes back to lock down. NTA.
NTA. I cannot stand parents like this. The world is not going to cater to your child. If they bend every little thing because they don't want to deal with their child asking for stuff, how is your niece ever going to learn to accept "no". Kid needs to learn sometimes people have things they can't have especially adults. Keep eating your ice cream, ignore your sister.
Especially when it’s not hard to explain that other houses have different rules, and that adult bodies are different from children bodies, so adults can eat and drink different things than children can.
I don't remember a single time when I was a kid that another kid struggled to understand that other people have different rules. I'm sure there's an age where you have to learn that, but I don't have clear memories of it.
I grew up in a strict household - no pop, VERY minimal fast/junk food, couldn't take the Lord's name in vain, etc. I don't remember a time when that was confusing. The difficulty with this always seems to come from parents who don't want to parent.
I’m a mom and I can spot these kids a mile away. The number of parents who seem to believe “gentle” parenting means a kid never hears the word “no” is astounding. Different households/family/people have different rules/standards/privileges. It’s so simple, but such a critical lesson for our kids.
They’re like the parents that ask you, a stranger, to stop cursing and talking about adult things at 9pm in a bar. Homie, you’re the one out late with a kid at a BAR.
Exactly. I take my kids often to restaurants. We bring coloured pencils and easy to play card games and coloured stickers and all that stuff to keep them occupied. No we can't give them our phones, it's forbidden.
Then one time we were in a restaurant with friends. Their daughter was no sooner sat down that she asked, in fact really demanded, to play with her father's phone. The father gave it to her. Our kids looked at us accusingly: but we thought it was forbidden! Well. Yes. It's forbidden. By us.
That day we let them look at the phone, not much of a choice (netflix, without the sound, but still, arg!). Sure we didn't hear them that day. But no, it was exceptional because we were with other kids you age, it doesn't mean it's okay at other times. So yeah, it was tiring for some time as they tried to push this limit once they saw others didn't have the same. But it's us parents' job to stay firm.
NTA. Your home your routine your body your little treat. She created this situation believe it or not. You are not harming her parenting or the child by eating food. Explaining moderation and what that looks like is the parents job and she clearly didn’t explain it in a way that aligns with many people’s reality.
The audacity needed to try to dictate what someone eats in their own home, where she is a guest, is astounding. Obviously NTA. Those scoops of ice cream better be massive while she’s there.
NTA - I am not really getting that fact that the kid gets out of bed to ask you for ice cream but not the point, if the kid gets the concept of Mommy Drink, she can get the concept of Auntie Ice Cream. And she can stay in the bed.