'My elderly neighbor is treating me like her personal driver. AITA?'

"AITA for refusing to keep driving my elderly neighbor everywhere after she started treating me like her personal driver?"

Ok so I'm 23f and I live w my mom in a small apartment complex. our building has mostly older ppl in it. there’s this lady across the hall, she’s 74f (lives alone.) She’s always been nice in a quiet grandma way.

About 3 months ago she asked if I could give her a ride to a doctor appointment because her son was out of town and she didn’t wanna take the bus. I said yes bc it felt mean to say no and my mom was ok with it. It was like a 15 min drive there and back.

After that she started asking more. grocery store. pharmacy. hair appointment. then it turned into her just texting me whenever she felt like going somewhere. sometimes she’d knock on our door if I didn’t answer fast enough. she never offers gas money and doesn’t say thank you half the time anymore, just “I'm ready” like I’m an uber.

Last week she texted me during school asking me to take her to a nail place right after I got home. i said i had a test to study for and couldn’t. she replied “well I guess I'll just have to walk then” which felt super guilt trippy.

then two days later she knocked on our door while my mom was at work and asked me to take her to the bank. I said I really couldn’t and she sighed super loud and said “you kids never want to help anymore."

That kinda broke me. I told her I can’t be her ride anymore and that she needs to arrange something else. She looked shocked and said she thought she could rely on me.

Now she won’t even look at me in the hallway and another neighbor (62f) told my mom I was “being mean to an old lady who just needs help” my mom says I wasn’t wrong but maybe I could’ve handled it nicer.

I feel bad but also I’m not a free taxi and I’m stressed w school. idk did i go too far by cutting it off completely or was I being used?? AITA?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

ssecret-account said:

NTA. From helping her for ONE occasion to a personal driver is crazy. Her being older doesn’t grant her the freedom to use you to go everywhere she needs, and if she REALLY needs that assistance all the time maybe her case is more severe and needs help from someone else.

You are a student in school, stressed, and do not have to help her every time she needs you, maybe if you actually have free time and do not want to rest/ use it to your enjoyment.

ih8javert said:

Remind her that she has a son that should be taking her around and that you were doing it as a favor and you’re not obligated in anyway other than to be nice. You are not her servant you and you have other obligations.

I feel that your neighbor some how feels entitled to your help and when you wouldn’t bend to her will, she knew what buttons to press to lay the guilt on. She’s also trying to rally the other neighbors together to guilt you into helping her. When does it stop? Don’t fall for this manipulative behavior. you’ve done enough. NTA.

Mangoliea said:

NTA. You're not wrong! You drew a boundary, you have a right to stand by that! Any neighbour, can at any point help the lady instead. And especially because she didn't even compensate you for your troubles, you definitely down owe her anything!

Madds933 said:

Nta. She's the arsehole. Don't let her manipulate or gaslight you! While once was very kind of you, she's taking advantage of you. If she was paying you then it's fair. It's a shame she doesn't like been told no. But she's responsible for her own feelings. Sounds like she's not told the neighbors how she's taken advantage of you. Keep your head up.

Efficient_Night_8321 said:

I’d just flat out tell her that in extreme emergencies you will be there to help if you can, but for all other travel that her son can’t provide, you suggest Uber, Lyft, cab or public transportation. You’ll be TA in her mind, but I guess that’s life.

KeiraVibes said:

NTA - I’m so hesitant to help elderly neighbors now because I ran into the same issue on MULTIPLE occasions. I don’t know why old people are like this when you’re nice to them once. Stop now before it gets worse, trust me.