'AITA for laughing at and embarrassing my BIL in front of the entire family?' UPDATED

"AITA for laughing at/embarrassing my BIL in front of the entire family?"

Okay my family/in-laws are pretty split about this whole thing so hubs suggested this place to see what outside people thought. Yesterday was my sister's engagement party (she's marrying my husband's cousin funny enough) and she asked to have the party at our house since we have a huge backyard and she just wanted something simple like a BBQ.

I of course agreed and the start of the day went well. Everyone from both sides of the family mingled, the grill was going, people congratulated the soon-to-be bride and groom, etc. Well as everyone was loading their plates up to eat I noticed my BIL grabbing a plate and paused because I swear he looked different than he did when he showed up.

I couldn't pin why at first but when he sat down at the table his mom/my MIL asked him if he'd trimmed his beard. That's what it was! His beard, which had been sorta bushy when he'd arrived earlier was now trimmed down and neater. That's when he looked at me and said he hoped I didn't mind but he'd used the trimmer we had in the bathroom to freshen himself up.

I was confused because my trimmer and my husbands were both in our connected bathroom, which was off limits to guests. But then it hit me. HE'D USED THE CAT TRIMMER I KEEP IN THE DOWNSTAIRS BATHROOM. The one I use to trim my four VERY fluffy cats' butt hair and shave off dingle berries to keep them clean.

I must have looked just as shocked as I felt because hubs asked what was wrong and I ignored him and asked BIL if he meant he'd used the small white trimmer that had been in the back of the bottom drawer of the bathroom cabinet? BIL flushed a little at being outed for going thru our cabinets I guess and huffed but confirmed, yes, that one. And y'all... I lost it. I laughed so hard I thought I might choke.

Even typing this out now is hard cuz just remembering it is making me laugh again. BIL got pissed and asked what was so damn funny and without thinking I just blurted out what that trimmer is used for. Hubs started laughing his ass off followed by just about everyone on my side of the family and a good chunk of hubs side too.

At some point during the laughter BIL got up and called us all assholes before storming out. MIL tried scolding me for saying that in front of everyone (some of hubs family agreed) but hubs shushed her and said he shouldn't have gone thru our stuff. I feel bad for laughing. I could have pulled BIL aside to tell him instead of blurting it out in front of everybody. MIL says I should apologize. AITA?

Some edits for clarification:

1.) My soon-to-be BIL that my sister is going to be marrying is my husband's cousin! The BIL who used the shaver is my husband's actual blood brother. They're two totally different men! Sorry for the confusion!

2.) No, we're not going to be gifting BIL a shaver. That's funny as a joke but not to actually do.

3.) BIL did clean up after himself save for a few bits that got on the floor.

4.) And I've decided I'll call BIL tomorrow so we can talk.

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

dadjokes4evah said:

NTA at all but holy crap that’s funny. Who the hell goes through someone else’s bathroom cabinets and decides to groom themselves using the a trimmer they find?!? I honestly expected it to be a trimmer used for personal bits, so the revelation that the trimmer is used on cat butts was an unexpected turn.

I’d buy that guy his own personal trimmer as a birthday/Christmas present but that might be taking it too far.

NUT-me-SHELL said:

NTA. I thought for sure it was going to be your pube trimmer he got into…

Xenafan1970 said:

NTA and I would have laughed my butt off at the thought of my BIL using the cat's butt trimmer to trim his beard. WTF was he thinking " hey, I'm at a party at someone else's house, so I'll use these random trimmers to trim my beard" Who does that???

And GibbletyGobbletyGoo said:

NTA. There’s “responses” and then there’s “reactions”. You reacted to a situation/information that you couldn’t have prepared yourself a “proper response” for. This reminds me of when my brother helped himself to a particular body wash of mine when we were both visiting my parents.

I burst into laughter because it was “Summer’s Eve” (in the labeled, branded bottle) and he got mad I told him at all. He’s not upset at how you handled it, he’s upset his actions were stupid but he wants to be mad at someone other than himself. You only made it a little easier for him to do that since the reveal was more public and that’s easy to point to as the “wrongdoing”.

Later, OP shared this update:

Okay everyone, BIL came over today to talk and I was worried he'd still be upset but he wasn't! Well turns out he DOES have a gf and when he told her about it (looking for sympathy I think) she instead laughed at him and told him that's the risk of using strange razors without permission first. He apologized for going through our drawers and said he was actually looking for some baby powder.

Turns out he was uh.. chafing from the heat.. (tbh it was hot as hell the day of the party so understandable) and he was too embarrassed to ask us if we had any. I know everyone said not to and he deserved it but I still apologized for laughing at him and blurting what the razor was for out loud like that. He said it was fine and he knows now he kinda had it coming.

The best part was he asked to take a picture with one of my cats and I agreed and he posted it to facebook with the caption "I've never felt closer to my SIL's cats" which had me and hubs dying. Seems he was just hurt in the moment but after a day of thinking he decided to let it go and just roll with what he knows will be a big joke for who knows how long. So that's the update everyone! BIL and I are good.

And then they shared one more small edit, for all the dog owners:

For all those asking in the comments, I use a Dream Reach dog clipper! The one that has a wooden looking handle and has the one red button!