"AITA for embarrassing my husband?"
My husband (34M) has this super annoying habit—if he’s on his phone, watching TV, or just not in the mood to respond, he pretends he doesn’t hear me. I’ll ask him something, and he’ll just sit there, completely ignoring me, even though I know he can hear me. I’ve called him out on it before, and he always says, “Oh, I just didn’t hear you.” But it happens way too often to be accidental.
So, last weekend, we were at a family gathering, and it happened again. I was trying to get his attention while he was scrolling on his phone, and he completely ignored me. I even said his name three times—nothing. So, instead of getting mad, I decided to test something. I casually said, “Hey babe, there’s cake in the kitchen.”
Suddenly, he snapped his head up and went, “What kind of cake?” I just looked at him and said, “Oh, so you CAN hear me.” His mom laughed, his sister smirked, and my husband turned red and got all huffy, saying I was “trying to embarrass him on purpose.”
Now he’s annoyed and says I was being passive-aggressive instead of just talking to him about it privately. I told him I’ve tried talking to him about it, and he always denies doing it. AITA for calling him out like that in front of his family?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Oh my dear OP, do it again and again and again till he realises that being dismissive and gaslighting you is not going to fly
notAugustbutordinary said:
“You embarrassed me on purpose.” No I showed that you are purposely acting in a way that is detrimental to a relationship. That your family laughed at you shows that they all agree.
socialcluelessness said:
NTA. He clearly is ignoring you. And if he isn't doing it on purpose, he needs hearing aids. Id feign concern and force him to a doctor lmao. Either that or do the same thing right back to him until he realizes how problematic it is. Either way you're not the problem here.
littIecami said:
Definitely NTA. You’ve already tried talking to him privately, and he kept dismissing it. Sometimes a little public accountability is the only way to get through to someone who refuses to acknowledge a problem. If he’s embarrassed, maybe he should reflect on why instead of blaming you for pointing out the obvious.
Careful_Ambassador49 said:
You’re NTA at all. Selective hearing is plain rude. He’s disrespecting and gaslighting you.
CandyPopPanda said:
NTA. It's just as embarrassing for you to be ignored by your own husband in front of the entire family.
HighKaj said:
NTA but your husband is acting like some teenage boy. Scrolling at a family event, ignoring you, and then getting huffy when called out. That would be a bigger conversation once we got home if it was my fiancé who acted like this.