'AITA for 'embarrassing' my more fit camp coworker in front of the kids we counsel?'

"AITA for 'embarrassing' my more fit coworker?"

I am a camp counselor (25M) who works with elementary aged boys. To give some context, I am incredibly short and fat. Like, I am under 5 feet tall and around 200 pounds. This does not affect my ability to do my job.

I'm just as active as any other counselor, I work with the kids just as much. I have to get blood tests done regularly for unrelated reasons (related to why I'm so short) and there's never really any concern when it comes to my cholesterol or insulin or anything weight related.

I'm just saying this so you have some context for my general appearance and the fact that no, my weight doesn't affect my health or my level of activity. My co-counselor is a guy around my age who is (I think) a baseball player. We could not look more different.

He's got more than a foot of height on me and probably about the same weight, so he's obviously more visibly fit. He brags a lot about how even after we spend all day chasing kids in the sun, he still goes to the gym for a couple of hours. The issue is when it comes to actually having to use strength practically, I out do him every time.

I'm not trying to do it intentionally. But when we have to carry 20 kids backpacks and he can only handle 8 while I have 12, or when he can't open a jar, or when we have to lug heavy equipment and he's huffing and puffing while I'm not having a problem, it becomes pretty evident that I am just stronger than him, at least for stuff like that.

I'm sure he could out bench me or whatever proper fitness stuff is, and trust me he crushes me when we play sports with the kids, I'm just talking about that kind of work. The issue is that the kids have started to pick up on the fact that I am the "strong counselor". If they want to be picked up or can't open something in their lunch or want a break from carrying their bag on a hike, they come to me.

Apparently, my co-counselor complained to one of the other counselors that I am "embarrassing" him because a guy like me shouldn't be able to be stronger than him. That counselor then came to me and told me I should tone it done because it can be hard for someone who prides themself on being an athlete to be worse at something than a guy "like me."

I said there was no way I was going to do my job worse just to protect his ego, and the other counselor said I was being a jerk and as the summer goes on the boys might start b*llying my co-counselor if they think he's weaker than me, which I don't think is going to happen but I'm not sure. AITA for not wanting to stop doing my job the way I'm doing it so that I don't hurt this guys feelings?

The internet did not hold back one bit.

eggypalms wrote:

Punishing you for going above and beyond because you have a medical condition certainly seems like…something. Legally. Regardless of the country you’re in, I don’t imagine that’s smiled upon. Personally, I’d just start pressing them on what a “guy like you,” means. Make them say if out loud, and ask them if they’d be giving you s#$t for doing a good job if you looked different.

Set them up to say out loud what they know will make them look like an AH(and in hot water legally, if disability is a protected class where you are.) Double standards and punishment for exceeding criteria/doing well certainly sounds like actively punishing you for having a medical condition.

Powerdino1215 wrote:

NTA. You're just doing your job, and from the sounds of it, a pretty good one at that. If anyone's the asshole here, it's your co-counselor. Sure, lots of people feel insecure about their strength, or whatever superficial way in which they measure themselves, but he should in no way be disrespectful to you like that.

You are living a healthy life, and he should be happy for you for that, instead of complaining that he should be stronger just because he looks fitter. Looks aren't everything. You aren't embarrassing him, you're just providing someone the kids know they can rely on, instead of a co-counselor who just complains about the other one.

Yernar15 wrote:

NTA - Keep doing what you're doing. Your coworkers make judgments based on your appearance and they hate being proven wrong. Keep proving them wrong.

limitless_Megan wrote:

LOL…a “guy like you” shouldn’t be stronger than him… sure sounds like some bullying to me. Also sounds like maybe both your co-counsellors need to be introduced to some strong man competitions and some images of the strongest men and women in the world. Turns out strength requires girth. The thin plus definition is just really pretty to look at.

OK_Tonight_3703 wrote:

Bahaha! So some random coworker who isn’t even your boss decided to be the mouth piece for a dude who is intimidated by a “guy like you”. If a grown man can be bu*lied by a bunch of boys that he’s responsible for he needs another job. NTA. You are not responsible for any adults feelings or insecurities.

ASaini91 wrote:

NTA. It's not your fault he's going to the gym to work out the show-off muscles. If he wants to be stronger then he should tailor his own workout to focus on strength rather than cosmetics Also he has MUCH bigger problems if he's getting b*llied by elementary aged boys.

Old-Guy64 wrote:

Because I am a proud AH about stuff like this. I wouldn’t “tone” it down. But I sure would arrange for him to have more “opportunities” to flaunt his supposed strength.

“Oh “tall and ripped” said he wanted to carry thus and such”.

Oh I’d love to help, but “Tall and ripped” was just telling me earlier that he loves doing “X-heavy lifting”.

Don’t tone you down, tone him up. He’ll either do the extra that’s hard for him to save face. Or he’ll admit he needs your help and acknowledge that you are stronger than you appear to be.