'AITA for embarrassing my sister and saying she isn't as good as me?'
"AITA for embarrassing my sister and saying she isn't as good as me?"
annoyedsister80
I 24 f have a younger sister 22 f. As long as I can remember my sister has tried to compete with me. My family is pretty athletic. My parents, older brother, sister, and I all played sports in high school and college, though not the same ones.
It wasn't abnormal that my sister wanted to sign up for the same ones as me. Everyone thought it was cute that she wanted to do the exact same sports as me. Later it also became band and debate team. Everything I did, she had to do.
That itself isn't the problem. My sister is super funny, always a hard worker, and generally a great person. The problem is she always did this to compete specifically with me.
She made it known even when we were on the same teams that her mission was to out-score or out-race me. Even if she came second to last, as long as I was last, she would be happy. Even grades. She always got solid As or A- but I got As or A+.
She was more interested in my GPA than her own. Her problem is, that never happened. Not once in almost 15 years. She's talented and a great athlete, but she could never beat me. I really didn't care. To me she was just like every other girl on the field/pool.
It died down when I went to college. I went to a private school on an athletic scholarship full ride. She decided to go to same school and join the swim team as well, but she didn't get a full scholarship, which was the first blow.
My parents thought it was sweet. I knew it would be a problem on the first practice and she said something like, I'm not second best anymore. Like okay good for you. Just swim faster than the other team and I'll be happy.
Fast forward to this past 4th of July. We had a barbeque at the lake and she asked to race her for old time's sake. We were just standing around I wanted to swim and said sure. I swam pretty leisurely. I didn't care if she won. I was just wasting time. I still beat her back to shore and she didn't speak to me for a while.
Then she said we should change our wedding days to the same day to see who more people choose. I told her I just needed my fiance and the priest, which my family agreed with.
She said I was no fun. I said, no this lifelong bulls*** is no fun. It's exhausting. She said deal with it because I'll always be her competition. I said that's funny because she's never been mine. My family says I went to far. AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
ObfusKate_
NAH and it astounds me that your parents don’t recognize that SHE has taken this too far. It’s unhealthy at this point. Compete for wedding guests? That’s gross. Who says that!?
cupofteathanks
NTA. That does really sound exhausting. It sounds like your sister needs therapy…why does she have this constant need to try and beat you? There’s no problem with friendly competition, but it sounds so toxic! Your family may think you went far, but someone needs to tell her it’s time to live her own life and stop trying to compete with you.
Slayerofdrums
NTA, but your sister's obsession with beating you sounds unhealthy. And it sounds like everyone always encouraged this because they thought it was 'cute'. It's not cute, it's disturbing. She needs to build her own life and be proud of her own achievements instead of comparing.
lmmontes
She needs psychological help since she is so fixated on you. NTA. Seriously, she needs help.
Consider eloping? Then you could wait a week or so to even tell everyone.
Turkeysocks
If you've been honest in everything you've said, NTA. You're sister has an extremely unhealthy mentality. She wants to turn everything between you two into a competition, because she's never viewed you as an elder sibling.
I'm gonna assume that your parents encouraged this competitive nature, and since your sister lived in your shadow, she views you as a rival she has to best in everything, which apparently includes milestone events and life in general.
You on the other hand, at least present yourself as someone who doesn't care about competition between individuals, but as someone who cares about the overall results of the team.
Now the way you said it, it sounds pretty harsh. Maybe you should've said something like "I've never seen you as competition, I've always seen you as my sister" or something like that. But your sister ultimately needs to know you've never seen her as competition.
Honestly, she needs therapy, because wanting to compete to see who would have more people attend their wedding on the same day is extremely unhinged. She needs help.
Advanced-Sandwich159
ESH - can’t imagine being like this with a sibling. You both sound like you’re constantly keeping score. You’re right it’s exhausting, but so is being crappy to your little sister, clearly you’ve held on to all this for years. I’ve always been my siblings biggest fans, suggest trying to do the same.
Ittakes1toknow1fam
NAH. Honestly, she loves you way more than you think, she just expresses that love in a weird, obsessive way. She'll grow out of it. Just keep doing you.
Sweetcilantro
NTA.
She tried to be a b**** and you simply put her down nicely like one.
SetScary9216
NTA. Changing your weddings to the same day? That's unhinged.
Long_Ad_2764
NTA. Your parents also suck for enabling this behaviour.