Employee accused of 'bullying' coworker over 'obscenely expensive' diamond; AITA?
While is can be frustrating to watch people shamelessly flaunt their exorbitant wealth while others struggle around them, blaming an individual for income inequality isn't the smartest way to win 'Employee of the Month'...
Everyone knows that if you don't have anything nice to say to your coworker's face, all you have to do it say it to another coworker at the post-work margarita Monday Happy Hour. So, when a frustrated employee decided to consult the moral compas of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about a coworker's expensive new jewelry, people were eager to help deem a verdict.
AITA (Am I the As*hole) for making someone feel bad for having an obscenely expensive diamond ring?
So I realize I’m probably the as*hole here. Looking for unbiased responses. I work in marketing and in my department there are 3-4 women who either have ridiculously wealthy families or have married very wealthy men (our jobs are not that high paying themselves).
They talk a lot about expensive things like clothes, shoes, vacations etc. It can get annoying because they very obviously look down on some of our lifestyles.
Last Friday one girl came in with a HUGE diamond ring. It was honestly kinda tacky in my opinion but I didn’t say anything. Someone asked her how much it was and she said it was 45k! I was speechless honestly, but she married this private equity guy who could afford it I guess.
Later in the day I was chatting with some other coworkers and I said that I feel like wearing a 45k ring while people in this world are dying of poverty means you’re objectively a bad, morally empty person.
I didn’t say it to her directly, but several people were nearby. The people I was talking to all agreed and said it was excessive and not classy at all.
Last night I got a text from my boss saying that word has been spreading that I’m “bullying” this girl and we need to have a chat sometime this week.
I’m not sure how casual talk like that can count as bullying but I can see where I maybe went overboard. Now I’m not sure if I should defend myself or just admit fault and apologize when the meeting comes. AITA?
Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say:
unimaginativeuser110 said:
The irony of someone in marketing insulting a coworker for getting an expensive ring is hilarious to me.
fourbearants said:
YTA. Did it make you feel better to say such nasty things about her behind her back? And yes, it is a bullying behavior. How expensive a ring is OK? $1k? $10k? You have no idea either if she or her husband use their wealth to help people or not. No clue.
Do you own anything that costs more than the cheapest but still effective version? Do you own any brand name things that have off-brand equivalents that are as good? Where's the line?
QueenMoogle said:
YTA. I’m pretty sure having a nice ring doesn’t mean you’re morally depraved. Are you out there spending all of your time and money trying to fix the world’s problems? Or are you just talking the talk to make yourself feel special?
[deleted] said:
YTA. I smell petty jealousy.
[deleted] said:
YTA for talking sh*t at work. I agree with your view on the ring, but at work you have to just say 'congrats' and move on.
So, there you have it!
Everyone agreed unanimously here that this coworker was wrong to gossip about this newly engaged woman's ring during the workday and they could've at least saved the shade for a group chat during off-hours. Raining on someone's excitement parade surely won't win them an invitation to what is guaranteed to be a 5-star wedding. That being said, accusing them of 'bullying' might've gone a step too far. Good luck during this HR meeting, everyone...