Getting married and going on a honeymoon is a different story, though. Why should you choose grinding away at the office over a hopefully once-in-a-lifetime event?
So, when a conflicted woman decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about whether or not she was wrong to choose her honeymoon over her job, people were quick to help deem a verdict.
I (F26) just got married to my husband 30. I told my boss six months ago that I would be going on my honeymoon over the last couple of weeks. He approved it and I have the email to prove it.
About a month ago, two weeks before my wedding, I checked in with him that he had someone to cover my clients while I was gone. He freaked out and said that we are shorthanded right now and that it would hurt the business if I go away. I reminded him that I had given him six months notice.
That is when he said the stupidest thing I have ever heard. He said that because I gave him so much warning he didn't feel a sense of urgency and kept putting it off. My wedding preparations have not been a secret.
One of my colleagues was a bridesmaid and my boss was invited to my wedding and RSVP'd his regrets he would not be attending.
So I told him that while I understood his position, unless he was willing to pay me and my husband to go away on a whole new honeymoon, I would be going on my honeymoon. And that he needed to find someone to take my information about my clients.
He declined and I did. He tried calling me on the Monday of the first week. I ignored it. He tried Tuesday and I answered.
He wanted to know where I was. I told him I was visiting with my family in Morocco while I was on my honeymoon.
He lost it. He said that we had agreed that I would postpone my trip. I asked him if he had agreed to pay for my honeymoon? He said I was being ridiculous and that there would be consequences for my career for acting so childishly.
So I quit. I said that he could consider this conversation my notice and that I would email him when I had a moment. Then I blocked his number. I emailed a friend who had been recruited to a different company in my industry and asked if he still wanted me to come work there. I had my interviews while on my honeymoon. I start after Thanksgiving.
I popped into the office on Monday to work my last two days, not really I knew my stuff would be boxed and security card deactivated. My boss told me I did this to myself and that I not be getting anything more than a basic reference from him. I didn't mention my new job.
My father said that I handled it poorly and that isn't how it's done. He isn't a boomer but he may as well be. My old boss is pissed and my dad isn't angry just disappointed. But I don't think I'm the a*shole.
If your company can't function without one employee for a single week then there are clearly some other problems that need to be sorted out. Who'd choose working and canceling their honeymoon over quitting and finding a boss who respects that you have a life?
NTA (Not the As*hole) - you booked your honeymoon time off, got the approval and your boss admitted he'd put off arranging someone to cover for you. You've been organized and responsible every step of the way. Congrats on the new job, sounds like you've had a lucky escape! I hope you had a wonderful honeymoon by the way.
Regarding what your dad said about how it's not the way things are done. You can tell him that applies to your boss' actions all the way. You made your plans. He agreed to them. Then didn't do his part. You tried to offer an alternative. He didn't take it. Then tried to blag his way out of it. You were professional and firm. Your dad should be proud of that.
NTA. You’re a rock star. Hold your head high and enjoy your time off.
NTA your boss screwed up and wanted you to bare the consequences. You booked you time off in advance, you got his approval, ao honestly, quitting such toxic environment was a good choice
NTA. You handled it perfectly and that absolutely is how it's done. Your bosses inability to do even the bare essentials of their own job isn't your problem.
NTA! Your ex-boss got what he deserved. Your job should never come before your family. Good luck with the new position!
Everyone agreed unanimously here that this newlywed wasn't at all wrong to ditch her job to go on her honeymoon and considering how easily she found a boss that understands that people sometimes take time off, it wasn't much of a loss. Good luck, everyone!