Employee is investigated by HR after not telling coworkers they 'speak' Korean. AITA?

"AITA for not telling my coworkers I 'speak' Korean?"

Last week, I overheard a group of Korean colleagues making fun of another coworker who just came back from maternity leave. They were in the lunch area, and if people speak loudly, I can hear them from my desk. Men and women were involved in the conversation, and they said things that I consider sexual harassment.

For example, she’s like a hippo now who wants to sleep with that, or her poor partner must feel like he’s drowning on a waterbed while struggling to find her hole, etc etc. Completely inappropriate, to me at least. No one else in our company speaks Korean, which is probably why they said all those things.

No one else at work speaks Korean, and I never formally told anyone I understand it. Not because I’m trying to hide my Korean knowledge for some odd reason, I’m just not fluent. My grandma is Korean-Chinese (Chaoxianzu), an ethnic minority group that lives in northern China.

Her family fled to China in the early 20th century. I have a fair understanding of Korean because of her, but compared to my English, I can’t read or write it, and I speak like a pre-school kid. Back to the situation, when I heard that convo, I walked up to them and said something like “this isn’t appropriate, just as a heads up, I will tell HR about this."

But before I got to HR, they went there first. I got called into a meeting a few days ago, and HR asked me why I didn’t disclose information about myself that could benefit the company (we work with Korean companies).

They asked me about my intentions for working at the company, what my goals were, was I working for anyone else, etc etc. I struggled to explain that I’m simply not fluent, because they said other people told them differently.

Then they also said I was accused of being racist. By denying my knowledge of Korean and refusing to speak Korean, I am acting in a prejudiced way against a group of employees at the company. That my behavior shows that I refuse to engage in building relationships with a specific group of people, and that’s workplace bullying.

They launched an investigation into my work performance etc, and although they promised confidentiality while this is ongoing, word got out. A lot of my colleagues were annoyed as they said I could’ve made their work easier by just reviewing documents from Korean companies we work with, instead of having to rely on external translators.

The sexual harassment issue which started this all - HR said they need to do this investigation first because a group of people accused me of the same thing. But they will look into that issue too, just later. A lot of people are mad at me because they think I’m a racist liar. But I still don’t think I speak Korean? So AITA?

Here's what people had to say to OP about this one:

EdenCapwell said:

NTA As someone who worked in HR for years...the ones who get there first are always the ones who are treated better. I can't tell you why. I wish I knew. I went to bat MANY times for people who didn't report an incident first, and I was overruled repeatedly.

Your best course of action would be to tell HR that you feel this is retaliatory and you are NOT fluent in Korean ---you just understand enough to know that they were crossing a MAJOR line, and it was incredibly unprofessional.

Tell them you thought you were doing the right thing in speaking up for your coworker, and YOU felt very uncomfortable overhearing it. If you mention keywords like "triggered," and "uncomfortable," and "hostile work environment," and "sexual nature of the conversation," then you'll get HR's attention.

If you were not given paper to fill out on what you heard then YOU get some paper and write it all down in print...the entire conversation...and give a copy to HR because "I feel it's in the best interest of the company to have a record of what was actually said in case the same people are that unprofessional again and I overhear it or worse, a client overhears it." Have HR sign and date YOUR copy of what transpired, too.

msfinch87 said:

NTA. You’re not obligated to disclose to people that you can understand a language and no, that’s not racism. What is an AH thing to do is make disparaging and inappropriate comments about people in another language because you think you can get away with it, which is what they did.

They’ve obviously twisted this to cover themselves, and I personally suspect there is more to what they’ve told HR than what you’ve been told. You might want to consult an employment lawyer about this one because I think it has the potential to get out of hand for you despite you doing nothing wrong.

CSurvivor9 said:

NTA. The problem was you told them you knew. You should have quietly reported them. That group has set out to make your life hell there now.

C_Majuscula said:

NTA. You are under no obligation to disclose your language abilities, especially if you aren't fluent. I can't believe your HR department is taking your coworkers' "complaint" seriously as it is absolute BS.

While you are looking for another job, I would complain about the lack of confidentiality in the whole process and that it is creating a hostile work environment for you. HR and all parties involved are supposed to keep things confidential until a determination is made.

YardageSardage said:

NTA. This seems like pretty clear-cut retaliation to me. You should probably consult an employment lawyer.

raulpe said:

NTA but you should have gone immediately to HR after telling them off or even better just not talk with them and report it directly. You literally gave a group of people you already know had no problem badmouthing others to craft an story together about how you were the bad guy.

KombuchaBot said:

I'd give up on the HR process and consult an external employment lawyer. You have basically been victimized by the HR process at this point. And look for another job.Obviously NTA.