'AITA for ending a family vacation early after they told me I'll die alone?' UPDATED

"AITA for ending a family vacation early after they told me I'll die alone?"

Every year my family and I do an annual vacation, I'm expected to pay, yet I have no choice on the matter of where we go and how much it cost. Generally, I'm fine paying for my siblings and I because my siblings are married, work multiple jobs and still on minimum wage and struggling to make ends meet, they provide for their kids and struggle, they truly deserve a break, we all know parenting is hard.

I'm expected to pay for family holidays because I'm the first in the family to go to college, I'm well educated and I'm a lawyer, as you can tell, I make good money and I don't consider myself intelligent, but not dumb as well, sort of average. This year, the holiday was in Spain. I booked a holiday package for 5k and paid a deposit, the remaining balance was to be paid on the day of exiting the resort.

We left Sunday, it was a bit hectic and there were loads of emotions flying around. I don't have kids, but with having to get up early at 3:00 am to leave for the airport with sleepy exhausted kids, it was stressful. We got to the airport and we got on our flight, so far it was okay.

We arrived in the resort to check in, everything was fine, we had the usual ID checks and I told them I will pay for the remaining balance at the end of the two week holiday. After checking in, my family were arranging to meet up in an hours time for lunch.

I told them I'm going to stay in my room for the remainder of the day as I didn't feel good from being travel sick, I also get very moody with no sleep. I just needed the rest. Today came, and this is where the drama starts. I came down to meet with my family and I discovered my brother was super drunk and kicking off at staff, he was intoxicated, refusing to pay for his tab and abusing the staff.

The staff, understandably wasn't accepting his behavior and was threatening to call the police. I asked the staff what the situation was, apparently I was supposed to pay his tab, he had $500, I wasn't going to pay that, maybe if it was $50, I would have.

My brother started being verbally toxic to me, I ended up leaving without paying the tab. From what I know from family members, police arrived and forced him to pay or be arrested, he wasn't happy. Later on, he came knocking on my door. I told him to go and sleep the drinking off.

He started shouting and calling me all sort of names. He was shouting loudly because some guests came out of their room and asked what was going on, I told them his my brother, his pissed off and his intoxicated.

I asked if they could deal with him whilst I call family members to collect him. BIG MISTAKE. A family member got fed up after trying to convince my brother to go to his room to get to sleep, she started yelling at me and so did his wife. They were yelling at me for not paying his tab. My brother was screaming at me, calling me an unlovable, selfish person who will die alone.

What he said upset me. For context, our family has a history of abuse. My parents were horrible to my siblings and I on a regular basis. I tried to avoid this as much as I can by taking part in free extra-curricular activities and staying at the library, reading, writing, learning and researching (that's why I'm a bit of an academic nerd). I quickly learnt to switch of my emotions around my parents, if I cried they'd beat me with a belt.

I soon switched of all emotions in front of everyone, I will now show emotions when I'm alone. My brother was calling me an emotionless human being who has no friends. I have 5 very close friends who I communicate on a daily basis but see every 6 months, we like our own company, we're massive introverts.

I was extremely upset already as my cat had died last Wednesday, my brothers attitude was the final straw. I went to reception and spoke to them about the situation, I asked if I can cancel the holiday and pay for what I have accessed so far. After some back and forth, we came to an agreement and they allowed me to end the holiday early.

However, because of my brother's drunken attitude, if they wanted to continue staying here they weren't allowed. Staff wouldn't deal with the brother anymore. I went upstairs, quietly packed, I checked for flights home, there weren't any till the next day so I had to get a car hire and drive for three hours home (I live in Europe).

I did check my phone tonight and my phone is blowing up. I'm being called the worst person and worst selfish person ever. They found out I cancelled the holiday, they had to pay more than this package cost to stay at another resort as they weren't allowed to stay, they had to dip into the savings, and now they have no money to enjoy the holiday. I'm having mixed thoughts about if I was an ahole, so AITA?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Gracelandrocks said:

Let that be the end of the gravy train OP. Stop funding their lives. They neither love nor respect you and view you as a walking ATM.

Basic_Ask8109 said:

So you're the only one with a steady and good income but you're expected to pay for everyone to go on holiday?! No that crap stops. You're being taken advantage of and are being gaslit by family members.

I would refuse to go on vacation with them anymore. If they can't pay their way for their whole family (they chose to have kids) they don't get to go on your tab. Next time they want to go on holiday say"that's nice. Oh yeah I'm not going to go. Honestly op your family is toxic AF.

I would go low contact or no contact with most if not all of them. Make holiday plans with friends or go on solo trips. It doesn't matter if you have someone or not, your family isn't entitled to any of your money or your kindness.

Crafty_Special_7052 said:

NTA your family clearly taking advantage of you. I would stop paying for any future holidays or paying anything for them. And go NC with your brother and possibly LC with anyone else.

MissKrys2020 said:

NTA at all. Your siblings aren’t owed a free vacation just because you had the drive and determination to get educated and create a good life for yourself. These people are toxic as heck and treat you terribly.

According_Ad_2936 said:

Cut them off. You don't need that in your life. They have been taking advantage of you for years and you need to find your own peace.

ComprehensivePut5569 said:

Block them all and go NC. Your family are a bunch of entitled, ungrateful, leeches. You don’t need them or their toxicity in your life! NTA.

lilyofthevalley2659 said:

They can expect all they want, you don’t need to do anything. Stop paying for them. Have some self respect.

UPDATE:

Secondly, thank you to all those who sent their condolences for the death of my cat on Wednesday. Thank you also to those who recommended getting another cat, I do have an 11 year old cat, he was only fond of his sibling and I've decided when he passes to remain pet free for a few years as putting animals down are so hard, they become your family. Time for the update.

Since I got home yesterday, my phone has been blowing up with text messages from various family members and people I don't know. I've been removed from group chats (I'm okay with that as I keep group chats archived and don't ever respond).

The lawyer in me is excited and is thankful I block but never delete messages. I'm seeing dozens of messages where I can build cases and sue for harassment and other things.

I video called my group of friends on WhatsApp (don't keep this one archived) and explained the situation, I was crying and yet they some how understood the situation. My friends and I came up with the perfect revenge plan.

As you all know, I have five very close friends and that's it. I do know a lot of people who are acquaintances but nothing more, I think this is pretty much true for all of us. My friends know my family are obsessed with wanting to be rich and make good money, and this is where it gets interesting.

I don't use Facebook much but most of the people I have on their are "family" members who always want to have the latest gadgets and tech. The plan is to use my Facebook account as an opportunity to brag about all the latest things I've purchased. I'm purchasing an Apple Mac, the latest iPhone and tablet.

I'm the type of person who usually buys the first phone I see and I'll stick to the device until it's on the brink of death. iPhones are incredibly expensive in my country, my family cannot afford it as it costs about half their monthly salary on phone contracts.

My family and I (I have a Samsung A05) have androids, but my family have more "latest" versions than me, they feel superior to me because of this. I will be taking pictures of the devices and "brag" about it on social media - this will cause family members to become heated and jealous.

There were comments about paying for a holiday with all my friends. I spoke to my friends and we've agreed to take 3 days off, I've purchased a holiday package in NYC for the 6 of us, hotels are included, all they are required to do is pay for their food and whatever other expenses they occur, I've covered the cost of plane tickets.

The plan whilst we're on holiday is to travel as much as we can all over America, take pictures of famous places and figures, like the statues of liberty. Tag each other in it and brag about how much we've "spent" (we're making it up as we go along).

Next plan is, I've finally decided to stop renting and I'm able to purchase a home with 50% equity, it's not an expensive home but we're going to do it up and it make it look aesthetically modern, this will wind them up when I do a post.

Here's what people had to say about the update:

BrainySmurf said:

A word of advice from an older lady who's dealt with family and getting revenge: don't let your petty overcome your happy. Focus of the blessings of friends who love you like family instead of on family you wouldn't choose as friends. Petty has a habit of growing so big it blocks out the happy in our lives. Get a little revenge but only if you get a lot of good memories too.

Common-Dream560 said:

Glad you’re looking out for yourself. 3 days in NYC will barely scratch the surface. Take the Staten Island Ferry & get your picture of lady liberty from there - don’t waste your time on actually going. Plan ahead and budget your time accordingly. Subway is the fastest way around NYC. Pedi-bikes are a ripoff. Enjoy your trip.

BothReading1229 said:

Your chosen family is awesome and delightfully petty. Stick with them and not your birth family. Your life will be so much more fulfilling.

JaxBQuik said:

The petty meter on this has hit Perfection! Entitled people, showing their colors and getting essentially exactly what they asked for. They want you to foot their bills, but they clearly don't want you there. So you aren't... but neither is your money... which is how it should be after all that.

I am sorry you have to deal with family like this. I'm sorry about your cat. But this post and petty revenge is seriously chef's kiss! Go live your life boo! You do you!

blakesmate said:

I come from a big family and we try to get together every so often. A couple of my siblings are single and very well off and the rest of us are married with kids and life is a struggle but we do not expect the rich siblings to pay our way. Your family sucks and you put up with them for way too long.

Evening-Motor8721 said:

Living well is the best revenge!