Engaged couple asks if it's 'forcing their ethics' to serve only vegetarian food at their wedding. AITA?

"WIBTA for having a vegetarian only wedding?"

My fiancé and I (both 30s) are getting married in a couple of months. We now need to finalize our menu choices for our guests. Now, we are vegetarian. In general, we are pretty relaxed vegetarians. If we go out, we totally don't mind if our friends/family choose meat or fish to eat, same if we visit family. As long as there is a veggie option, then great.

Now back to the wedding. On looking at the choices, and given it's our day, we thought it would be nice to have a fully vegetarian menu. My (32F) parents are paying for the meal and have been absolutely stunned by this choice.

They say it's disrespectful to people who aren't in the vegetarian culture, and also disrespectful to our own values in terms of ensuring our friends have a nice time. They say it's forcing our ethics on other people. My viewpoint is: it is one meal only, on our day, where I'm sure it will be delicious whatever they're served.

None of our friends have ever complained when coming to our house for (vegetarian) food but my parents say it's different at a wedding because people "expect luxury food," especially if they are travelling from abroad (many are) and apparently this needs to include meat.

I am honestly Natalie Imbruglia-d (torn) on this. Personally I don't mind that much if our guests eat meat but it is inconsistent with our own life choices and it is our day, so that could make it feel inauthentic.

And I think the whole focus on meat thing is quite generational (my parents are in their 60s). My fiancé agrees with me but the issue is my parents are (very kindly) paying for the meal. WIBTA if I got everyone only vegetarian food?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

owls_and_cardinals said:

NTA. Omnivores have all eaten plenty of vegetarian and even vegan meals without intending to. Had a bowl of cereal for breakfast? Bam - vegetarian meal. It does not seem like it's pushing anything on anyone, any more than ANY other food choice would be. If you offered chicken would you be "pushing chicken onto people?"

This is being overly politicized and overly dramatized by the people around you. It's not even really a 'culture' is it? It's just a dietary practice / preference?

Your parents may decide not to pay for the meal and that's their prerogative (though I'd consider it kind of shitty to withdraw financial support over this choice). But it's your day and this is a very reasonable choice to make. This way, you can try or sample all the food on the menu and not be excluded from your own celebration.

000-Hotaru_Tomoe said:

NTA. Just as with dry weddings, it's a decision that is up to the spouses on their day. As you say, it's a single meal: no one dies if they don't drink alcohol or eat meat or fish for a meal. You don't have to get wasted or eat half an ox to have fun...

I believe your parents have an old-fashioned and narrow view of vegetarian cuisine, and probably imagine that guests will be served only a bowl of salad as if they were bunnies. Of course, expect other guests to also protest like your parents are doing or decide not to come. In that case, their choice.

Euphoric-Zucchini-18 said:

NTA, but please avoid meat substitutes as that is not something that people generally consider for allergies or sensitivities (nuts and soy can be problematic).

coffeeneededrn said:

NTA but if it is a deal breaker for you then pay for the food yourself. If your parents are fully funding then you may just want to be more flexible.

Honest-Sector-4558 said:

I think YTA because you said you don't mind if other people eat meat when you're around them. So why do you care at your wedding? I think it's kind of weird to try and force everyone to eat a vegetarian dish because it's "your day." Why does what they eat have anything to do with your marriage?

Otherwise_Bar9735 said:

NTA. As someone who is required to eat meat protein for my health, I think I could easily survive one delicious meat-free meal for a special one's special day. Before I had to eat it more often, I still only ate meat maybe three times a week. It's just not that big a deal to not have meat at ONE meal. Who eats it three times a day, anyway?

There are so many good meatless dishes out there, but for some reason, everyone thinks they're going to be getting a caprese salad and a small glass of water at veggie weddings. Good luck!