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Man kicks brother and his family out after nephew steals his $4K engagement ring. + Update

Man kicks brother and his family out after nephew steals his $4K engagement ring. + Update


"AITA for kicking my brother and his family out after his son stole my engagement ring?"


The reason I (26M) know is because I literally caught him in my room going through my things. And it’s on freakin camera. My nephew is 9 and has a habit of stealing things. They’ve gotten in trouble a few times at stores because he’d leave with something in his pockets.

But of course because he’s a kid they usually just say he forgot he had it. Even at school my brother has told me they have had to come talk to the principal aim a couple occasions. Doesn’t seem like they’ve done anything to stop it.

They had to come stay here with me because my brother lost his job and they weren’t gonna make it with all their bills including rent. He’s doing Uber rn while he searches for a job and they can move out.

I didn’t want to because of my nephew specifically but family is family I guess. A month ago I finally bought an engagement ring for my girlfriend that I was planning on proposing to soon but now I don’t know.

It’s a $4k ring that I spent over a year saving up for. It’s been hidden in my room under one of my drawers. One time when I found him snooping in my room. I told my brother to control his damm kid.

Then I went and got one of those cheap spy cams in my room just in case. Then last week I noticed it was out of its box, after checking the cam it showed he was in there again when I wasn’t home. My brother and his wife have yelled at him.

He says he left it by the tv in the guest room but it’s not there. They looked through all their stuff and his too. I know for a fact he’s lying about not having it because that’s the same thing he said about one of my watches he took then ended up finding it.

By the second day my brother tells me they can’t find it at all. And I told him either they find the ring or he repays me the $4k I spent on it, if not they can’t stay here anymore.

My brother got really upset, he told me I know how their situation is right now, and yeah it’s a tough spot but I couldn’t ignore the fact that his kid he can’t parent took something extremely important to me that costed a lot of time and money.

They were given a week to leave my house if they don’t find the ring. They’re having to stay at a cheap motel but my brother won’t stop begging to come back because what they’re paying right now each night is coming directly out of their savings.

He won’t stop calling me heartless about letting something like this come between helping them out through a difficult time and my nephew keeps saying he’s sorry. It’s just hard right now to want them around. Don’t even know what to do about the ring and every time I think about it it just makes me so mad that it’s hard to care about their situation. Does that make me an a$$h0l3?

Here were the top rated comments from readers after the OP's initial post:


NTA - they sold the ring.


I think so too! At this point, why won't his nephew say where it went?


The thing with kleptomaniac’s they often don’t know what to do with the things they steal he may have washed it down the sink flushed it down the toilet buried it i the garden etc just to hide it it’s not so much about having things.

It’s about taking them it’s highly unfortunate that he took something so important and his parents definitely need to get him help and should have done so already which could have prevented this.


Yeah, I hate to agree with this but when I was the nephew's age I was being abused at home and it came out in a weird phase of kleptomania. I didn't know what to do with the things I stole so most of the time I threw them away out of fear. He probably did the same.


Right, this is way beyond “this kid is a brat” territory and into “this kid needs serious help of some kind.”

Nine days later, the OP returned with an update.

"UPDATE AITA for kicking my brother and his family out after his son stole my engagement ring?"


So many of you have asked nonstop for an update, sorry it took me a while to log back on but lots of stuff have been going on. Yes I found the ring!! It was a stressful day doing a deeper search in my house trying to think like my nephew and looking in places where I think he’d hide something if he really didn’t want it to be found.

And the decision was if it really wasn’t found and my brother wasn’t able to get him to talk, or they wouldn’t be able to pay back what I’m owed then the police would get involved. He did beg me not to but I told him then you better pray I find it or you come up with the money to pay me for it.

Guess both our prayers worked because guess where I found it? In the freaking sink. The SINK. And that’s thanks to the comments who told me to look in those places. Idk what I would’ve done otherwise. It was the sink that was in their guest room, I’m glad he didn’t just throw it away.

You guys don’t know how freaking relieved I was to find it. Took some work to remove the p trap under the sink to get it out but I was just so happy to find it!! Same night my girlfriend (fiancée 😉) got back I proposed to her and she said yes!!

After a nice romantic dinner just the two of us at home… The plan was to wait but after all this shit I thought fuck it I’m proposing ASAP before anything else happens 😅🤣 After my brother heard about me finding the ring he thought this meant they could come back. I said no.

He wanted to argue about this again. All I told him was he’s lucky I haven’t gone to the cops since there was already video evidence of his son taking the ring and there’s no way I’m letting them back in when my nephew wouldn’t even say what he did with the ring.

I talked with my nephew myself after I found the ring but he just said he didn’t want to tell anyone because then I’d be mad at him for hiding it. Honestly I just don’t have the energy for them anymore, his problem is their problem and hopefully they get him help before it’s too late.

Only thing important to me is my fiancée and I starting our lives and planning our wedding 😁 Thank you Reddit for your help!! Seriously you guys were my life savers 😅

Edit to add: I just received this news after already submitting my post for approval and just wanted to add because I’m so happy, but girlfriend also informed me she’s pregnant!!! 😆😆 She found out while she was on her trip and was waiting for a good time to tell me. Not related to the post but idc, I’m gonna be a dad !!!!

Here were the top rated comments from readers after the OP's update:


The fact that the kid refused to tell you where it was and his parents refused to make him means you are absolutely in the right and would be crazy to let them back in. Little brat is going to end up in prison if his parents don't wake up.


Exactly. If he's stealing, lying and manipulating people to this level at 9 and his parents do nothing but enable him, imagine where he's going to be at 19.


CONGRATULATIONS 3 TIMES OVER!!! You found the ring! She said, "Yes"! You're going to be a father! P.S. It's obvious you'll be a better father to your child than your brother is to his. MANY MORE MOMENTS OF HAPPINESS FOR YOU AND YOUR GROWING FAMILY!

Edit: OMG! This is my first award! I’m glad this was given to me for “good news.” Thank you!


Congrats on finding it and on not letting the thiving trio back in. (Make sure to keep the video.) Also make sure to inform your family you kicked them out because they stole several times (and you have the last one on tape), before they start the waterworks telling everyone how you "made ther little angel homeless out of greed".


Congratulations on finding the ring and congratulations on your engagement!!! You did the right thing, that poor kid needs help and needs consequences, yet it seems his parents won't help him. Hopefully he understands that you aren't punishing him, but that you not wanting him near valuables is a natural consequence of him stealing.

So, what do you think about this one? If you could give the OP any advice here, what would you say?

Sources: Reddit,Reddit
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