'AITA for entering my coworker’s office after he told me not to?' 'I told you NO.'

"AITA for entering my coworker’s office after he told me not to?"

I’ve been working in this office for 3 months, but because of space shortages, I currently share it with a coworker who just started last week. Even though he’s new, he’s technically my supervisor.

Today, I was told I could leave early because I’d finished all my work. I stepped out for about 5 minutes to see if anyone else needed help, but nobody did. When I came back, there was a “Please Do Not Disturb” sign on the door. Usually that means there’s a meeting or conversation going on, and they can last close to an hour.

The problem was, my bag- with my wallet, water, and food- was still in there. I didn’t want to wait almost an hour to get it, so I asked another coworker for advice. She suggested knocking. I waited another 5 minutes, then knocked. He said, “Not right now.” I knocked again to show I wasn’t there for chit-chat, but because I actually needed something. Still: “Not right now.”

So I opened the door just enough to explain that I needed to grab my bag- it was literally one step inside. He immediately snapped, “I told you no,” in a raised voice and basically kicked me back out. I shut the door and left, but I was so shaken I ended up crying in the bathroom.

When his meeting was finally over, I went back in to collect my things. I was still upset, and he told me I had no right to be “pissed.” I said I only wanted my bag and that I have the right to access my own belongings.

I suggested that if he’s planning a meeting in our shared office, he could at least let me know so I can grab my stuff beforehand. He said he doesn’t see it that way and doesn’t need to tell me anything, and he kept pushing the point.

At that stage, I was trying not to cry again, so I told him it’s harder for me because I’m autistic. The second I said that, his tone changed- he softened and said he didn’t know, and now it was “fine.” But it really bothered me that I had to disclose something so personal just to get basic understanding.

Now I’m worried this could hurt my reputation. He’s well-liked, and I’m scared it’ll get spun as me causing drama- especially since I’ve been socially excluded before because of my autism. Until now, this was the first workplace where I felt genuinely safe and included, and I’d even considered staying long-term. Now, I’m not so sure. So…AITA for going in after he told me not to?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

mega512 said:

NTA - Nah f that. Talk to HR. That is completely inappropriate.

auesomemom said:

NTA - but he is one. Talk to HR because autistic or not, its a shared space. I would have walked in despite the sign and quietly gathered my things. Are you hourly? If he locked you out and you can’t leave then he has to pay for that time you were detained by his holier than though attitude.

Safe_Ability3437 said:

NTA. When you share an office, you are allowed to enter and exit as you see fit. If he had a meeting that couldn't be disturbed, he should have either notified you in advance, or had the meeting elsewhere.

Sleepwalker0304 said:

NTA. Take it to HR. Make sure they know you couldn't leave because he wouldn't allow you to retrieve your belongings and (if you aren't salaried) you expect to be paid for the time you had to remain in the office and were not allowed to leave due to his actions. Make it clear that you'll be lawyering up if they refuse. I bet it's all on camera and that things change then.

Ellumine said:

NTA. It's also your office, and his leadership style sounds atrocious. Like others are saying, this needs to go to HR. He either needs an office of his own in line with his title, or he should be sharing with other leadership, to start with, but if you'll be trapped with him in that space, he has no right to deny you access to it.

If he's doing something that requires that level of privacy, he can go find a conference room or empty office. Denying you access to your belongings or potentially to your own productivity for his own, singular convenience is unacceptable.

o2low said:

NTA. You should speak to HIS boss or whoever implemented the space sharing. You are correct that he has no right to unilaterally decide to have solo access to the space. You are entitled to at least notice of the meeting or respectfully he should be having the meeting somewhere else.