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Entitled woman disrespects future in-laws' wedding traditions; in-laws retaliate.

Entitled woman disrespects future in-laws' wedding traditions; in-laws retaliate.


Wedding traditions vary from culture to culture. Some cultures require the bride's youngest brother to wash the feet of the groom, while others require a whole week of ceremonies, and most still struggle with the idea of same-sex marriages. If you marry into a new culture, prepare to be a part of new cultural traditions.

On a popular Reddit thread in the Am I the A**hole Subreddit, one woman gets upset with her future sister-in-law for disrespecting her cultural traditions.

She writes:

So my family has a tradition that goes back a long time, centuries. It used to be an everyday thing historically in our country for a woman when she wedded out to bring a bottom drawer that had all her bedding, linen and clothes, etc., in addition to the dowry her father would give her husband.

The women of my family would use the bottom drawer to secure the woman's futures. After the engagement was announced, all the women in the family would gather together and make her a quilt; within each section of the quilt, a family member would hide some money, jewelry, seeds, or anything that could help in the future in case the woman needed to escape an abusive husband or they fell on hard times.

Despite it not being needed now, my family continues this tradition as a symbolic way of taking care of the daughters of our family. My brother recently got engaged to his long-term girlfriend. She has no family she is close to, so after a discussion, it was decided we'd make her a quilt, too, to welcome her into the family fully.

We planned an engagement party for her and explained the tradition and how, during the engagement party, all the women of the family and she would be doing this together. She found it funny, made some scathing remarks about the whole thing and how old-fashioned it was, and called it weird.

This upset quite a few of us, myself included. In the end, we called it off and decided not to make the quilt; she got upset that she wouldn't get a party and said how she still wanted the gifts, so in the end, I sent her a toaster from Amazon, saying I hoped it was modern enough for her.

I'd been initially planning to hide £300 in my square. A bit petty, I'll admit, but I don't see why I should give the big gift for her alone as an engagement gift if she's going to be disrespectful; I plan to save my money for the actual wedding gift, which will be for both of them.

She is now upset as a few other relatives have done something similar to me, sent cheaper or no gifts at all, and complained to my brother that the family's women are being mean to her. He is embarrassed by how she acted toward a kind gesture from the family but trying to mediate by saying it would seem odd to anyone, not from our family.

The internet isn't afraid to voice their opinions on this tradition.

Candy4Mandy says:

That is one of the nicest family gifts and gestures I have ever heard. NTA (Not the A**hole).

Teleporting-Cat says:

NTA - many old-fashioned traditions are just weird and irrelevant today, but NOT this one! It is so sweet, practical, kind, and REAL.

I still remember when I moved in with my now fiance, a few of my best friends put together a backpack with every possible essential, from tampons and plan B, a burner phone, to a little flask of whiskey, to my color of lipstick, to emergency gas money and letters from each of them saying I mattered.

The idea was the same if sh*t ever went sideways and I could only grab one thing and run; I'd have everything I needed. It wasn't that they didn't trust my future husband. They just wanted to make sure I was okay no matter what. It's probably the most meaningful gift I've ever received.

I'm so sorry she turned her nose up at such a kind welcome. The dollar amount isn't the issue here—something like that MEANS A LOT. You're not being petty. You're giving her exactly what she felt she was worth.

Dittoheadforever says:

You're NTA. She rudely mocked your entire family when you kindly and generously tried to welcome her to the family including her in the tradition. I'm not sure I'd have even given her a toaster. Maybe a book on etiquette would have been more appropriate.

OP, give her a modern wedding gift too! Like a fancy wine opener!

Sources: Reddit
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