'AITA for exposing my ex and my best friend to their families after I found out they were cheating—with help from his siblings?'
"AITA for exposing my ex and my best friend to their families after I found out they were cheating—with help from his siblings?"
Hi Charlotte (and fellow potatoes). This is a throwaway because I never thought I’d be one of the stories you’d read out loud while sipping coffee and raising your eyebrow in disbelief, but here we are. Let’s just get into it.
I (27F) was dating Jason (28M) for nearly four years. We lived together for two, shared bills, split groceries, and had a running Pinterest board titled “Our Future Home.” You know, couple stuff. We were talking about getting engaged sometime this year.
My best friend, Chris (30F), has been in my life since I was a teenager. We were thick as thieves. She used to call me her “ride-or-die.” She even said once, “If you ever got married, I’d plan the bachelorette trip myself.” (Oh honey… if only I knew.)
Jason and Chris got along really well — too well, in hindsight. I used to joke about it. “Wow, I swear y’all hang out more than we do!” Hahaha. So funny. So naïve. A few months ago, things started getting… weird.
Jason suddenly became attached to his phone like it was surgically fused to his hand. Chris pulled away from me emotionally but was always happy to check in on Jason.
They started making plans without me. “Oh, we just grabbed a quick bite after work!” “We ran into each other at the gym!” “We were just catching up!” Catching up on what, exactly? My patience?
Jason’s siblings — his sister and younger brother — also started acting different. Cold. Like I was the awkward outsider at a family dinner I used to help plan. I figured I had done something wrong. Spoiler alert: I hadn’t. I was just being slowly replaced and no one told me.
Then one weekend, Jason said he had to go out of town for a “family thing.” I helped him pack. Kissed him goodbye. Sent him off with snacks and good wishes like a supportive girlfriend.
Chris — being Chris — posted a cozy little Instagram story that same night. A wine glass. A fireplace. Two sets of legs. Except I recognized one of those sets of legs. The jeans. The sneakers. They were Jason’s. I bought those shoes.
I didn’t say anything right away. I wanted to be wrong. But something in my gut said I wasn’t. When Jason got back, I waited until he fell asleep, and I checked the iPad he’d forgotten to log out of. His iMessages were synced. Let me just say: I wish I hadn’t looked, but also, thank God I did.
He and Chris had been hooking up for over a year. There were flirty messages, gross sexts, voice notes, inside jokes, screenshots of conversations with his siblings — yes, his siblings were cheering them on.
There were messages like:
“She’s still clueless, lol.” “Just tell her already, bro.” “You and Chris are way better together anyway.”
They were hiding a whole-ass relationship from me while I was cooking dinner for them. Jason even said:
“It’s hard laying next to her when I wish it was you.”
Sir. You’re in my bed. Eating my snacks. With my Hulu login. I didn’t scream. I didn’t key cars. I packed a bag, went to my cousin’s place, and thought it over. Two days later, I calmly told Jason I knew. That I saw everything. His reaction?
“You went through my messages? That’s a serious violation of trust.”
…I think my soul briefly left my body.
Then came the gaslighting:
“You always do this. You’re insecure. You push people away with your drama.”
I push people away?!? Boy, you are emotionally cheating (and probably physically) with my best friend and I’m the dramatic one? Anyway. I blocked Chris. She sent a long, teary “It just happened” message. I didn’t care. But I didn’t stop there.
I sent the messages, screenshots, and voice notes to Jason’s parents and Chris’s mom. Not to be petty — but because I was tired of feeling like the crazy one while they told their families I was “emotionally unstable” and “clingy.”
Jason had been painting me as the bad guy to his family for months. His mom told me I was “cold” toward him and needed to “be more understanding.” After she saw the truth, she apologized. Genuinely. Chris’s mom? She was silent for a minute and just said, “I’m sorry you had to go through this.”
Now Jason and Chris are officially together. Soft-launching themselves like nobody died. “Sometimes love grows where you least expect it.”
Yeah — like in the shadow of betrayal.
Now Jason’s siblings and a few mutuals are saying I “crossed a line” and made everything “awkward between families” and that I should’ve just walked away “like a mature adult.” So… AITA for refusing to let them lie about me and exposing them to their families? Or should I have just taken the L quietly while they made me look like the bitter ex?
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
It's good you exposed them for the toxic cretins they are. Don't worry about them. Their lives will be filled with regret eventually. They will betray each other, I predict within three years.
You did the right thing by calling them out publicly since they lied about you in order to feel more justified in betraying you. Get STD tested and if you find anything, tell them both on Facebook, if you want. (haha just kidding, kind of.) Tell his siblings you don't care what they think and that mature adults don't lie about another person's mental health like a weirdo to justify slutting around.
Then ... you didn't ask this, but part of moving on is finding and experiencing new things. Consider moving to a whole new place with a new job or going back to school somewhere far away. Shed these toxic people like dead skin, and make yourself a happier life.
You deserve some fun adventures and a new beginning, with better people. Also, it means these people won't be a factor in your life in any way whatsoever. Don't tell anyone but your family and just go live your life.
You don't have to take that last bit of advice, but if you look at this as a new start, you might find parts of it are things you never thought you'd get to do. Oh. And let the relatives know if they continue lying about you personally, you will become litigious. That should stop that crap right in its tracks.
It won't even take 3 years. All the excitement of 'hiding our love' is over. They will eventually hate each other and blame each other for everything that goes wrong since they can no longer gaslight you. And the siblings, horrible people.
I think you were tame. I would have had his bags packed by the door after the picture of them by the fireplace. And a comment on the photo along the lines of well since you like my trash so much he is yours. Just don't forget to pick up his baggage.
NTA . The audacity! So sorry. I hope you soar and find someone worthy of you!
You responded appropriately. If I were you, I would send a thank you note to Chris for stealing a scoundrel before you were tied to him legally. NTA. You didn’t make anything awkward. They did with their deceit and betrayal.