'AITA for not including an ex-bridesmaid in wedding events?'
"AITA for not including an ex-bridesmaid in wedding events?"
I (28f) am getting married soon and I recently had one of my bridesmaids decide to step down from the wedding as she didn’t like the dresses I had asked them to wear. This was fine, we had a polite discussion about it and it’s a voluntary position so it wasn’t like I was going to try to force her to stay in the party if she really didn’t want to wear the dress.
The problem is that because she’s not in the party anymore, I’ve removed her from the bridesmaid groupchat, she won’t be invited to the bachelorette dinner (we hadn’t started planning this when she dropped so she isn’t out any money or PTO taken or anything), and she also won’t be going to the rehearsal dinner, getting ready with the bridesmaids the day of, or sitting at the head table.
To me this made perfect sense - all this stuff is for the wedding party, or in some cases for family and out-of-town guests (she is neither). Her perspective is that she was invited to all of this before and she should still be as a good friend of mine for many years, and that by excluding her after she decided to step down I’m being vindictive. AITA?
exosle writes:
If you want her to be a bigger part of your day because she’s important to you, some compromise may be necessary. Is the dress you chose or your friend more important?
There are a lot of reasons someone may not be comfortable wearing the dress you chose. Did you ask her why? Clearly she still wants to be involved and didn’t just want to wash her hands of the whole experience.
aplot writes:
NTA. She stepped down, she doesn’t get to participate in the wedding party activities. She’s suffering from a bad case of main character syndrome. She stepped down because she doesn’t like the dresses, and then expects to be a part of the wedding party activities.
agajpo writes:
NTA. She stepped down, she doesn’t get to participate in the wedding party activities. She’s suffering from a bad case of main character syndrome. She stepped down because she doesn’t like the dresses, and then expects to be a part of the wedding party activities.