Man's GF dumps him, so he gets hired at her job, then complains to boss to get her transferred. AITA? + UPDATE
"Ex-girlfriend is now my boss."
(Posts and comments have been translated from German to English.)
I’ll try to keep this as short as possible. My now ex-girlfriend broke up with me out of nowhere two months ago after 2.5 years together and moved back to her hometown (same state).
After that, I applied for the job she used to have (a position at the local hardware store for an external company that handles shelf maintenance) because I was unemployed at the time and needed a job quickly. I got the job, and that’s when I found out that she has now been promoted to regional manager (since the previous one left).
Now, on Monday, I have my first day of work, and she along with another regional manager will be training me (tomorrow and Tuesday). Ever since I found out, I’ve been dreading tomorrow.
Since last night, I’ve had terrible stomach cramps and nausea because I have no idea how to handle this situation, and I’m realizing that I’m still not over her. What should I do? How can I handle this situation better?
The next day, the OP returned with an update.
Hello Community, there is an update on my post from yesterday, but first, I want to say this: I really want to thank everyone who gave me advice, encouraged me, or simply shared their opinion.
I couldn’t respond to the comments due to the sheer number and lack of time, which some people even pointed out in private messages, but I read every single one and was able to take some of the advice to heart.
Now for the actual update:
I went in and just focused on learning everything first. The regional manager made a really good impression on me right away, and that impression only got better throughout the day.
I started at 07:30, and around 9, he mentioned that he had to go to the train station soon. At that moment, I knew exactly what he meant, he was going to pick up my ex. He must have noticed my reaction because he immediately followed up by saying that he wanted to ask me something a bit more personal:
Namely, what kind of relationship I had with her. I was completely honest and told him that she was my ex-girlfriend. He then asked if that was going to be a problem for me.
I took a moment to think and then said, if I’m being honest, which he immediately encouraged, yes, it is a problem for me. It’s still very fresh, and I’m absolutely not over it yet.
He reassured me that this wasn’t an issue at all, he had sensed that there was something between us but didn’t know exactly what, which is why he wanted to ask. He then said he would simply assign her to a completely different department so that we barely have to interact and that we should just try to make the best of the situation.
As it turns out, it’s not even certain that she’ll get the position. For now, she’s just attending a coaching/training session today and tomorrow. On top of that, it seems like the regions for managers will be significantly reduced because they will also be taking on a floating role within the company.
This means that even if she does get the job, there’s a good chance she’ll be assigned to a completely different region due to the distance. I’m feeling a lot better now, and I just want to thank all of you again for reading and commenting!
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP’s posts:
I'm surprised that OPs feelings were.prioritized to that extent. It's surprising they'd consider a new hire over an established person in the organization, let alone someone in management. Still, awesome for OP that it seems to have been resolved easily.
Gotta wonder what gave the "we know each other" away on HER side. The manager met him that day. And I don't think the OPs expression alone was sufficient for him to know something was up. Most people aren't that observant. She must have made a facial expression or two as well when OPs name was brought up.
Am I the only one wondering if an extended period of unemployment, perhaps without OOP trying hard as long as his then-girlfriend could support him, was the cause for the "out of nowhere" breakup?
I don’t believe for a single second that he had no idea she was on a management trajectory. If she just became a regional, and they only broke up 2 months ago, I would strongly suspect she had been talking about it to him before the breakup. And then he just happens to decide to apply to her place of work right after the breakup? I call BS. This was intentional sabotage on his part.
"It's not even certain she'll get the position."
Man, it's going to suck if her employment wheel gets spiked by this guy's 'honest sharing' of how it *might* be a problem that he has to interact with his ex-girlfriend.
Not that she would be a problem, note...
Just that he might not be able to manage his feelings around her or something.
Frankly, I'm kinda pissed off at OP. He applies to his ex gfs company, knowing she still works there and then is such a baby, he can't keep it together for 30 seconds while she trains him.
Instead he acts like a man baby, so much so, the other manager notices and now, because she's the woman (never mind the fact she was there longer and was obviously doing a good enough job they are working to promote her) SHES the one that's going to either be moved around or may not even get the promotion.
Applying for your ex’s position is insane.
Sorry, but if I dumped a guy and moved away, and the first thing he did was apply to work at my job and he just happens to be there on my first day of manager training, my first thought would go to stalker. Then if I found out the first thing he did was complain to the regional manager that he is my ex and is uncomfortable working with me, my first thought is bitter, crazy stalker.