'AITA for exchanging or returning a few gifts from my husband?'

"AITA for exchanging or returning a few gifts from my husband?"

My husband will not let this go. There have been a few times in the 16 years we've been together that I've returned or exchanged gifts he's given me and he still to this day brings it up. One time he got me an expensive LV purse and I exchanged it and upgraded to one with a strap (because the purse was large and would last longer with a strap) and another was a gold necklace.

I exchanged the gold necklace because it was very thin and too tight...it would eventually break and I didn't want him to lose out on the $600 he'd spent by just keeping it so instead I exchanged it for some earrings (because the jewelry store DID NOT have a longer chain option with their necklaces).

I have received so many gifts from him that I love and wear all the time and still remind him of how much I adore them but these are literally the only things I've exchanged that he brings up! There have been other not so important instances like an expensive hair straightener but really theres nothing major other than those two examples that he brings up.

And he's said in the past "that's why I don't get you things because you just return them" and thats simply not true!!! Sometimes I think he just says that to get out of buying things for me LOL.

AITA???? I've gotten him gifts in the past that don't fit and he won't return or exchange, they'll just sit in his closet and to me that's money wasted. What the heck is so wrong about returning for a proper size or something else you want??

What the heck am I missing?!?!?!? I've never acted unappreciative, I just don't want him to lose out on money by keeping something that I won't use.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

TrippKatt3 said:

NTA - Your husband is being a D and looking for any excuse not get you a gift(s). It get harder to buy gifts when you are married so long. I keep a running list throughout the year and/or, literally grab my phone and order when he says he likes/wants "that" and I know he won't buy it for himself.

Tell your husband to grow up, and for the last time, you liked the gifts, but exchanged for practical reasons/user friendly. I would love and LV bag, but it would have to have a strap, not handles. I get you.

PlentifulBox said:

NTA. There are two different mindsets on this and both are valid but if he enjoys harping on it, it’s an ego thing and he needs to get over it. My husband includes receipts because he thinks I should return his gifts if I don’t like them but I hate returning because I love what he got me even if it wasn’t exactly what I wanted. Neither of us makes the other feel bad about their choice.

SaltyCrashNerd said:

NTA. It’s the harping on it for years that does it. Turn about is fair play, so stop giving him gifts - “Why bother, you just leave it hanging in the closet?”

MotherofPuppos said:

NTA. These are completely normal reasons to exchange a gift. I honestly don’t understand the people who are mad. You aren’t pawning the gifts, you’re exchanging them so the money spent isn’t wasted. Gratitude is not hoarding things you can’t use.

No_Dream7153 said:

NTA. Some of this is a family culture thing. One side of my family would NEVER return or exchange a gift, and is offended by the very idea. The other side wraps a gift receipt with every present so you can do whatever you want with it. I think it’s normal to have different ideas about this.

What’s missing between you and your husband is communication and understanding about differing expectations regarding that. I’m with you though, OP. If something is not going to work for you, better to exchange it for something that will. It’s still a gift!

Moist-Cupcake3509 said:

NTA. I get being offended that someone returned a gift you got them but if he wanted to be sure you liked it he could take you shopping or ask for a shortlist or ask for your bag/necklace preferences, especially considering how much money he’s dropping on these. Better that you make sure you get something you’ll like and use if it’s that expensive.

catathymia said:

NTA at all, in the specific instances you returned the gifts you had valid reasons (though I'm also of the opinion that gifts should be for the person receiving the gift and their wants, not the wants of the person giving the gift). I also agree, and I guess this is horribly practical (?) that it's better to get something that fits and not just let it sit there or for expensive jewelry to break because it doesn't fit.