"AITA to expect my coparent to rehome his kittens?"
Long story short, I want my coparent to rehome his 2 kittens because of our son’s severe allergy. He doesn’t want to and is acting like I’m out of line to ask. AITA to want him to rehome his kittens?
I have full custody, 6 & 3 year old started in home visits with bio dad. First visit, our 3 year old was moderately symptomatic for allergy to cats. Second visit, 3 year old ended up in the ER with severe facial swelling & anaphylaxis after only 45min at his father’s home.
Allergy test confirmed a severe allergy to Cats & Dogs with a new medication regimen prescribed. We are sadly bringing our recently adopted puppy back to the rescue because of this allergy. Dad doesn’t want to rehome his pets. He got both cats within the last 6 months.
He has a one bedroom carpeted apartment with cat towers and fabric furniture. He has completely gone distant since his decision and I can’t stop thinking about this whole situation. So AITA to expect him to rehome the 2 kittens?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
wesmorgan1 said:
He is knowingly creating a physically dangerous (if not life-threatening) environment for your son. You have a medical diagnosis of a severe allergy. Talk to your lawyer about either (a) cutting off all visitation at his home or (b) seeking full custody. NTA.
International-Fee255 said:
NTA. But this is a legal matter, sounds like dad doesn't actually value your child's life and that's not a safe place for your children to go.
BackgroundSoup7952 said:
I think you need to speak to your lawyer or a lawyer and push for supervised visits if his home is not safe for the child to visit. That way, he can still spend time with them, and your child is not being subjected to the cat fur and dander. If he doesn't want to give up his cats, this is what he will need to do.
Trevena_Ice said:
NTA. But your co-parent clearly made a choice. The cats are more important to him then his own son's live. Talk to your lawyer about that, if necessary change the schedule of your co-parent so that the bio dad can't have the kids at his home and go for the money that he has to pay you, if he is not having the kids 50/50.
booksandcats4life said:
I am a life-long cat person. (See my handle.) But I have to go with either rehoming the cats (and the coparent deep cleaning the apartment to get rid of the dander) or no more visits.
Cats are wonderful but you don't risk another human's life for them. (OK, I like to think I'd run back into a burning building to get my cat, but that's my choice. The kid doesn't have a choice here.) NTA.
Mullein55 said:
NTA your co-parent should put his 3 year old above his cats. I know how hard that can be because pets become part of a family but, at the end of the day, he is choosing to put his child into a potentially life threatening situation. Seek legal advice.
BKowalewski said:
If you have full custody just arrange that their meeting with their dad be elsewhere from his home. Never allow the meetings at his home. Parks, restaurants, zoos etc.