'AITA for expecting tequila in the margaritas?' 'I thought this was a party.'

"AITA for expecting tequila in the margaritas?"

My (35M) wife (33F) got invited to a party at her co-worker's house. I reluctantly went because the only person I would know was my wife. This is a relatively new job for her and wanted to be able to meet and mingle with her co-workers outside of work. Her understanding of it all was we didn't need to bring anything but ourselves.

We show up and seems like a lively party, pool with a bar area, music playing. They had a margarita machine and a ton of food. My wife got to talking so I excused myself to grab a drink.

The margarita machine was calling my name so I filled my cup and grabbed my wife a margarita. I went back to my wife, I started drinking and realized that there wasn't any tequila in it. That's when I noticed no alcohol being around.

The host was tending to the machine and I asked if there was any tequila. She looks at me confused and then says there is no tequila. I said, "oh I thought this was a party." She takes offense at that and says it is, just a dry one. I awkwardly left it at that, I poured out my drink and grabbed some water.

Host asks if there was something wrong with it, I said I wasn't interested in drinking straight sugar. I walked back to my wife. Kept to myself, and ate some food for the few hours we were there. It made it back to my wife that I was an ahole to the host. Caused a minor argument between us. Was I though?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Alert-Ad9197 said:

YTA Would you not have been drinking straight sugar if there was tequila in it? You insulted the host twice in a very brief interaction because you couldn’t drink alcohol. You just embarrassed the crap out of your wife.

ImportantFunction833 said:

"Oh I thought this was a party" implies you can only have a good time if you can get drunk, which is pretty insulting to those whose company you're apparently incapable of enjoying, as well as implying she's a bad host.

You literally poured the drink out right in front of her with zero discretion, which is also obnoxious since you just finished insulting her, and your response to her was ungracious.

You were antisocial after that, which just doubles down on the fact that you don't know how to exercise basic social graces, and you did all this while around people your wife WORKS with, which is just straight up mortifying. If I were your wife, that argument wouldn't have been minor. YTA.

This also basically reads like you were rude because you didn't want to go in the first place, so you're not just the ahole, but you were also petty and immature because your wife asked you to just put on pants and go be polite with her coworkers for a little while, so YTA doubly.

Exciting_Rooster6351 said:

Yeah. YTA. You really have to ask? You should have at LEAST waited until you were away from the host to dump your drink, and your "I thought this was a party" line was rude. You made your wife look bad to her new coworkers.

With the way office gossip works, by the time this story makes a few more rounds they will all have convinced themselves you're a full-blown alcoholic. Which is exactly what you sound like if you complain about a dry WORK PARTY with brand new people you have never met.

rockology_adam said:

YTA. Not knowing the host, the only appropriate response to not finding alcohol at a party is "Ok, cool" and you let it go. Especially considering you went to help your wife network at a new job.. OP, this was absolutely a "best behavior" moment, and you failed. To then double down on it by saying you weren't interested in it dry is just terrible.

Look, you might be the kind of person who is disappointed by a lack of alcohol at a party, but at a party hosted by your wife's new workmates, you need to put that deep, deep, into a pocket and try to impress.

The appropriate answer to the party being dry was a nodding "Ok, cool" and if the drink was then too sweet for you, you look for something to cut it with OR you just set it down and grab water separately. You can double fist with water, and pretend to drink the margarita, or at least not immediately chuck it in the sink like you're sulking about there being no alcohol.

SummitJunkie7 said:

No, but YTA for the way you handled your unmet expectations. You're an adult. This is a work function for your partner. At a new job. You were unbelievably rude, and the consequences of your rudeness will all fall on your wife. Grow up.

Virtual-Squirrel-725 said:

YTA for sure. Seriously man, that is the adult equivalent of sulking in the corner because you went to a party that didn't have a jumping castle. And to add to it, you insulted the host, who was your wife's new co-worker. Very immature and rude.