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Expecting woman discusses 'perfect' pregnancy around sister, 'it's not right to brag.' AITA?

Expecting woman discusses 'perfect' pregnancy around sister, 'it's not right to brag.' AITA?


"AITA for talking about my 'perfect' pregnancy and making my sister feel bad?"

My (F24) sister (F29) has a 18 month old baby girl. Her pregnancy was very rough, she was very sick, her husband and her separated in the middle of her pregnancy and she didn't have a lot of support from our parents (which isn't their fault, they were LC before she got pregnant because of some stuff my sister and her husband did). Lately they've gotten back in touch again and are fixing their relationship.

I am 35 weeks pregnant as well and my pregnancy wasn't entirely hard, my husband and I have a good relationship, even better now I'd say. My relationship with my parents and our siblings has always been good too and besides some minor inconveniences my pregnancy has been going great so far.

My mother is planning to move in with us for one or two weeks (we'll see) after I give birth to help me out, which is something she didn't do for my sister. We were discussing this last Saturday because our parents had a family dinner and both of us were invited.

Our parents, and our SIL (brother's wife) were asking me about my pregnancy as well and if we were preparing for the baby. I don't feel like we were only talking about me/ my baby, like we were all having normal conversations about work, politics, football, stuff we regularly talk about.

However, when I was telling them about my last check up, my sister told me that it's not right to "brag" I asked her what she meant because I wasn't bragging at all. She told me that talking about how good and perfect my pregnancy has been so far is bragging. Once again I told her I am not bragging, my mom backed me up on that. Yeah well, as soon as our mother spoke up my sister blew up.

She accused me of being mean, of being a golden child, of wanting to drag the attention back to me, of being overbearing, etc. She said that I'm enjoying that she and her daughter are second class citizens to our family because she's sure that everyone will spoil my baby as they spoil me.

That I'm "faking weakness to gain sympathy and have everyone pampering me." I told her to not blame me for her mistakes, because if she didn't have a great support system it is because of her own fault and not mine. She called me "selfish and spoiled brat" and I called her "bitter and envious". She also had a fight with our parents and my husband.

Lastly, our dad told her to leave. My husband and I stayed a bit longer and we were all talking badly about her, I admit that. Now that I'm thinking about it I wonder if I made a mistake? Our whole family is rethinking if they want to go LC with her again so I don't know, I'm just doubting myself


Edit: the problem our family had with her is regarding some inherited jewellery from our grandmother. She pawned them to go on an expensive vacation with her husband. She got some of it back but lost a necklace that had been in our family for generations. We all love our grandmother and really valued these things since they were important to her.

And she never acknowledged her mistake or apologized which is the worst of this, because if she had at least apologised and said that she was very sure that she'll be able to get the items back, then it would've been different I think. She knows she hurt us, but never even apologized for hurting our feelings and our grandma's memory (and all of this happened before she got pregnant). This was just the last straw for our parents to go LC, since my sister and her husband constantly disrespected our family's feelings, over and over again.

Edit2: I don't understand why everyone seems to be judging the thing about the necklace when we were already fixing that. I didn't ask for judgement because of that issue, it's because of this other issue during dinner.


One of our brothers is NC with her and her ex husband since they refused to pay for the car he sold them (they had agreed on a price, but then they stopped paying). As for the comments it was all kind of things that were meant to hurt, like for example they were always talking about an ED I had when I was a teenager, also they kept insinuating I am sick again.

(Another example is the first thing my sister told me the day of my wedding is that I looked like my dress was "swallowing" me because I was too skinny, so unnecessary) They said that my husband looked like he was an alcoholic who would beat me.

They also made comments about our other brothers and SILs. Then there's the "petty" things like complaining about food when they came over for dinner, not helping pay for a big dinner when we all agreed to it and the rest of us had to cover their part as well.

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

Potential_Ad_1397 said:

Esh. She is definitely talking her anger out on you, but man, your family sounds lovely. You can be upset with her but man, you can't expect to rebuild a relationship with her when you guys literally shit talked her for a long period after she left.

I may not get along with my sister all the time but I don't shit talk her the second she leaves. Makes me wonder if she is correct about you being the golden child. Did she get treated less then in childhood? And ps, you may be upset that she sold family heirlooms, but they were hers to sell. She didn't steal them. It sucks and I get it but I wouldn't destroy a family over heirlooms.

Equivalent_Box5732 said:

Idk, it kind of does sound like she isn't treated very well by you and your family. So she sold some of her inherited jewelery for a nice vacation and memories - is that worth leaving her alone when she was pregnant with her first child? I can understand how she might feel resentful hearing about your perfect life. On the other hand, it's not necessarily your fault how your parents treat you/her. ESH.

Pretty_Fox5565 said:

YTA. You talk like she deserves everything coming to her, like she’s some evil being unworthy of support simply because she sold sentimental jewelry that SHE inherited. She’s right, you did throw things in her face.

Especially when you went and blamed her for her lack of support system like you and your family’s didn’t also choose to go low contact and not support her because you didn’t approve what she did with her inheritance. I get the feeling she’s absolutely on the mark when she calls you out for being the golden child. Also, you might not think your bragging, but I bet she’s had to hear you and your family boasting about your pregnancy to the point where it comes across as bragging.

JJengaOrangeLeaf said:

YTA...Y'all cut her off because your grandma left her something, and she chose to sell it. It was her property to do with what she wanted. Your sister is absolutely treated as less than you. She deserves a better family.

thisisausergayme said:

ESH just because this sounds like really messy family drama where no one is being as kind to each other as they could be. She should have just left the room if she was bothered by your pregnancy details, but also, given that you know how painful and traumatic her pregnancy was, it would have been very kind of you to say that you didn’t intend to brag and change the topic of conversation. I don’t think you were bragging, but I think it’s clear she’s hurting, and you prioritized being right over being kind to your sister.

Big-Goat-9026 said:

YTA. Your family doesn’t like your sister and needs to be honest about it. You can blame her selling the jewelry all you want, but it sounds like y’all were waiting for her to make a mistake to cut her off.

How can you have a conversation about how your sister wasn’t supported during her pregnancy then move on to talking about EVERYTHING your mother will be doing for you without it sounding like bragging.

The opinions were certainly divided for this one, but most people seemed to think everyone involved was at fault. What's your advice for this family?

Sources: Reddit
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