'AITA for explaining to my husband that he's the reason we keep having girls?'
"AITA for explaining to my husband that he's the reason we keep having girls?"
I have two daughters and just found out Im pregnant with a third girl. We found out this morning and my husband was clearly disappointed. On the drive to his moms house he made a comment about how he should have expected this because I have three sisters.
I told him that has nothing to do with the gender of our baby. He insisted it does because of genetics. He said I'm the reason we keep having girls. I tried to explain thats not how it works but he doubled down. He brought up how his mom only has brothers and his two oldest brothers both have sons.
He said its because their wives have more brothers than sisters. I pointed out that he and his older brothers all have different dads. And out of his own dad's eight kids, five are girls.
So by his logic his dad should be having boys too. I told him the sperm determines the gender not the egg. He got frustrated and said he'd ask his mom when we got there because she has a biology degree.
So we get to brunch and he actually asks her. She looked at him and told him straight up that the man determines the sex. She even explained that its not exactly 50/50 and that if you already have multiple kids of one gender you're statistically more likely to have another of the same.
He asked if he was likely to ever have a boy. She said if he keeps trying it might happen but theres no guarantee. He didn't say anything after that. Just walked out to the car and said he needed to go for a drive. A little while later I got a text saying I didn't have to embarrass him like that.
I didn't even say anything at his mom's house. He asked her the question. She answered. I just sat there. Now he's barely talking to me and acting like I humiliated him on purpose. Am I wrong?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
He asked his mom to prove you wrong and she sided with you and somehow thats your fault for embarrassing him lmao the audacity.
NTA. Your hubby couldn't handle a public smackdown from his own mother. Any humiliation is of his own doing. This just points out the need for sex ed in schools.
And the smack down was his own doing too. Because he’s ignorant on the topic and because he needed his mommy to prove his wife wrong. Everything in this story is the husbands own fault. lol.
You are not wrong. You don't need to have a boy. You already have a man child. He's being ridiculous and honestly, in your shoes, I'd be pissed off. instead of being happy that you're having another healthy, happy baby, he's blaming you it's not a boy.
You are not wrong. But also, you should have a serious conversation with him about the fact he was fine with “humiliation” if YOU were the one to receive it (like seriously, he is only upset because HE was wrong. It would have been fine to “humiliate” you this way).
You should also discuss the fact he finds it humiliating at all to a) be wrong and learn the truth b) know that having boys or girls is largely determined by the man because he has the sperm c) find it something he is frustrated about to push on about having a boy vs having a girl.
Like genuinely, why does the gender matter so much? Surely all that matters is the baby and mother are happy and healthy. Do you want him teaching your children that it is humiliating to know you are wrong? To leave because you were instructed on something? To think it’s ok to have someone else publicly told their opinions are wrong by an expert but it’s humiliating to be told it himself in public?
That stonewalling and the silent treatment are acceptable in relationships? He’s acting like a giant, abusive (stonewalling and silent treatment are actually defined as forms of abuse) man baby and he needs to grow the hell up.
Did his mother send him to school? Has he ever retained any information learned? Is he so determined to cast you in the role of guilty party that he fabricates “alternative facts” on a regular basis? Let me guess: yes, no, yes. NTA.
He's upset he can't blame you for having a third girl. So he's blaming you for the embarrassment he feels not understanding biology. I am sorry your third pregnancy isn't being treated as the joyous occasion it surely is. Best of luck to you and your daughters.
YNTA, and if he would have believed you in the first place, he wouldn't have embarrassed himself. He did do one thing right. He demonstrated how in the middle ages women were taking the brunt of very horrible consequences by "not providing a suitable heir" because men were completely ignorant of biology. Back then, humanity didn't know. Now there's Google and no excuse.
Not Wrong. His masculinity is so fragile. Poor baby. He won’t talk to you because he wanted to embarrass you by asking his mom that question. If she had agreed with him, he would have gloated over how he was right all night and kept blaming you for him not having a son. He sucks.
NTA- Yikes. What a big giant huge enormous baby!
Husband: "I'm not wrong. You're wrong! I'm going to ask mommy to prove to you I'm right!"
Mom: "You're wrong son"
Husband: screams at the world "YOU HUMILIATED ME!"
OP, congratulations on baby number 4. But seriously, congratulations on your newest girl. Sorry your husband is so immature and fragile as a man. I truly wish I had advice other than he needs therapy, the big baby misogynist.