Secret recording reveals fiancé's plot to take assets and child support. AITA?
"AITA for exposing my fiancé to his family and ruining his life?"
Puzzled-Stable-8001
Me (25F) and my fiance (26M) have been together for a decade and have our first child. Our relationship hasn’t always been rainbows and sunshine but it was steady and solid. Or so I thought. I just gave birth to our first child last November and is a SAHM.
Something we both decided and agreed to. My savings are substantial since I earned really good money and saved early on. My savings was gonna be used for our baby’s necessities while his income will cover the bills.
The condo and two cars are under my name. The condo and my car are paid off. It’s only his car that is not. I put down half of the amount as a down payment so the monthly payments are not that high plus with my good credit, the interest was low.
I did have plans on paying off his car and putting it in his when I got back to work. I’m currently on a 6mo hiatus from work due to sepsis from my c-section and other birth complications. Giving birth to our first child nearly ended me.
I came back from my postpartum appointment last week and heard my fiancé’s diabolical plan. I did not expect to record it but the timing was just perfect. Let me set the stage.
As I said I came home from my postpartum appointment and was told I have the green light to devour my fiancé. I gleefully went to VS to get lingeries and matching bras and panties because I was quite hot and ready to jump this man’s bones again.
I was recording myself and the VS bags when I heard him. I thought it was even more perfect that he was home already and I got these goodies ready to show him. Possibly make a quick movie.
So I continued recording but instead what I heard and recorded broke my heart. I’m so glad our baby can’t understand what’s going on yet because I don’t think I could handle explaining.
My fiance of 10 years was cheating on me, had plans to take money from me through child support but actually have his parents take care of our baby, is planning to take the condo and cars. I am sick. I am devastated. I distraught. I am heartbroken.
I stopped recording and quietly went to our bedroom with our baby and cried. I woke up to my baby crying and I felt like a zombie. I was so numb and my thoughts were all jumbled. The VS bags was still in the hallway.
He laid next to me asleep and snoring while I mustered the courage to send the recording to his parents. His parents blew up his phone in the morning and he in turn, blew up on me. Calling me names, slamming doors, punching walls. He forgot that we have cameras in the house so everything is recorded.
He said his parents are cutting him off and it’s all my fault. I embarrassed him and ruined his life. I had no right to record him. He said I’ll regret it and he will get everything I had. I told him to try me.
I’ve already talked to a lawyer and in our state common law marriage is not recognized and the person who the child lives with does not pay child support. Seeing as everything is in my name, he has to move out.
I gave him the rest of the month to move out. His parents and brother have been teaching out to me and has been very supportive and apologetic. My side of the family doesn’t know yet.
He called many times and left voicemails, texts and even emails and letters since I changed lock on the doors and the code on the garage door. He wants to work it out and go to therapy.
I honestly don’t want to talk to him or work it out. I just want him out. I spent a decade of my life giving this man everything. I’m not perfect or a saint but I’ve never and never will do something like that. I just want to move on.
EDIT: I’m sorry for the confusion about my hiatus and being a sahm. I was already going to be on hiatus for work for 6mo pp but when we realized how much medical issues I had - me and my EX fiance decided and agreed it would be best for me to be sahm for the FIRST year of our baby’s life. It was a spontaneous decision.
I was medically advised against any physical activity/labor for 16 weeks so it wasn’t like I could drive to different clinics and hospitals for work. So think of it as SAHM for the first year + 6mo hiatus. I can return to work now since I’ve gotten a medical clearance. My agency doesn’t allow anyone on maternity leave to work unless there’s a medical clearance from a doctor.
I’m a mobile registered medical diagnostic sonographer since there are people wondering how a 25 yr old can afford a condo and two cars. I get paid a higher rate than an in house RMDS because I travel and work for an agency.
I accept whatever assignment I want for the day/week. Both cars are used, mine is paid off(15k and have had since I was 18) and the other car is 18k which I only need to pay $3.6k on since I did put half of the amount down with low interest.
I’ve been working since I was 15 and saving money. I’m smart with my money. It’s expensive out here. One last edit before I give this thing a break: A lot of you need help.
Messaging me telling me I ‘probably did something to deserve it’ or that I ‘probably cheated that’s why hes doing this’ or that it’s my fault he cheated because I didn’t give him intimacy. I went through a near to death experience giving birth to our son.
I posted this because I needed the release, I needed to see if anyone out there experienced something similar or something awful and what did they do. This whole thing has been so bad for me mentally and emotionally that I’ve hard dark thoughts but I’m thankful for the support system I have. I know posting has its negatives but a lot of you are just not cool.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
Ok_Employment_7435
Do NOT allow this man back into your life. That was some divine intervention type stuff, do not squander this opportunity. What’s heartbreaking, is you truly care for him & I know that hurts. You will have a moment of weakness at some point & will want to talk to him, but DO NOT GIVE HIM AN INCH!! When someone tells you who they are, believe them.
The OP responded here:
Puzzled-Stable-8001
You have no idea. It felt like I was got hit with a lightning storm. I was and still am blindsided by what happened. Never thought he’d the man I would fear and dislike but here we are. His actions have suppressed any urges to reach out to him. I want him out permanently.
SafeWord9999
Of course he wants to work it out. How convenient.
His meal ticket isn’t feeding him anymore.
The OP again responded:
Puzzled-Stable-8001
One of his many texts and emails to me said “who’s gonna love me like you do?” “No one is gonna love me like you do” I wanted to laugh. Like sir what do you meaaaan. I LOVED YOU LIKE I DID. I gave that man anything that I could. But sometimes your everything isn’t enough to the wrong person.
Aggravating-Owl-8974
NTA. You didn’t ruin his life, he did that all by himself. Cuddle your little bundle of joy and be glad that you removed him from your life.