'AITA for expressing my surprise that my fiancée didn't know who Muhammad Ali was?'
"AITA for expressing my surprise that my fiancée didn't know who Muhammad Ali was?"
Hi, the other day my fiancée and I were watching baseball, and the infographic and commentary were showing some stats of Babe Ruth. So I told her (she doesn't really watch that much baseball), that Babe Ruth was like the Muhammad Ali of baseball.
She asked me who Muhammad Ali was and I said you know, Muhammad Ali. She was still confused and I realized she didn't know who Muhammad Ali was so I said how do you not know who Muhammad Ali is. And I told her about him.
I noticed she was quiet afterwards, so I asked if she was good, and she said she was hurt at the way I had been surprised at her not knowing who Muhammad Ali was. I said he wasn't just a boxer, he was a cultural icon so it just took me by surprise that she didn't know who he was.
Then yesterday she came across something on her Instagram, and was showing it to me. It was about Timothee Chalamet and Kylie Jenner. She asked me what I thought about her, and I said I actually don't know a lot about her, I know of her, but not why she's famous.
She then feigned surprise and was like you don't know who Kylie Jenner is? I realized she was still hurt over the Muhammad Ali thing so I didn't say anything. I didn't point out that it wasnt really the same thing, Kylie Jenner wasn't an icon the way Muhammad Ali was, and I had heard of her anyway. But she seems to still be hurt by what I said. Was I the AH?
Edit: Going to put some of my replies here. A lot of people are asking about our ages: I'm 29, she's 27. And as for how I reacted in the moment: So when the infographic popped up I said "Babe Ruth is like the Muhammad Ali of baseball". She said "Who's Muhammad Ali," I honestly thought maybe she knew multiple important Muhammad Alis so I said you know, Muhammad Ali.
And she still didn't recognize him and again said Muhammad Ali who? And then I just said , in a regular tone, how do you not know who Muhammad Ali is. She said why would I know of some Muhammad Ali. And then I was stunned for a couple of seconds , maybe that showed on my face and then I went over who he was.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
__the_Kraken__ wrote:
My dad is a college professor. For many decades, he could give an example using the Looney Tunes, or the characters in Scooby Doo, or Batman. There were so many pop culture references that were common knowledge. Now, he struggles to find anything that ALL of his students recognize.
What I’m trying to say is, society has become more fragmented. My son can watch content on his specific microinterests on YouTube. He doesn’t HAVE to watch Looney Tunes because it’s the only thing on. Your girlfriend is not unusual. There are simply too many topics to keep up with. NAH, but I would apologize if you made her feel ignorant.
Carma56 wrote:
NTA-- it is pretty unusual to find someone who hasn't at least heard of Muhammad Ali, even if they don't necessarily know much about him. I would have been shocked too and probably would have responded similarly, as would most people.
Her attempt to get you back with Kylie Jenner was pretty weak, honestly. It's understandable that she's embarassed at not knowing who Muhammad Ali was, but Kylie Jenner doesn't even begin to compare. Also it's not like you'd never heard of her, whereas she'd actually never heard of Muhammad Ali.
Ippus_21 wrote:
This sounds like NAH, honestly, just that you're both being kind of obtuse, and you'd better communicate a little better or you're going to end up on the rocks.
"I realized she didn't know who Muhammad Ali was so I said how do you not know who Muhammad Ali is."
Tone matters, a lot, even if you don't think your tone was insulting, half of it is how it's taken. You should probably have a quiet conversation and just genuinely apologize, because she's clearly hurt. It's not as hard as it sounds to just say, "Hey, I'm really sorry. I should have been more thoughtful the other day, so it didn't seem like I was talking down to you. I promise I wasn't, but I'm sorry I was careless about it."
phunkjnky wrote:
NTA.
People here who are referring to Ali as just a boxer and not a civil rights icon and the most famous conscientious objector in American history, are trying to make their own lack of knowledge more palatable.
Ali was larger than life. Not knowing who he was is one thing. Even trying to compare your lack of knowledge of Kyle Jenner to him was digging the hole deeper and not realizing it at all. (I just had the absurd visual of Ali offering a Pepsi to the Vietnamese army).
Lmamiru wrote:
NTA. You were surprised- most people would be as Muhammad Ali is a pretty well known figure. I don’t see where you expressed criticism or said anything mean or disrespectful. She sounds like she was embarrassed and then tried to be petty back. Sidenote: to some of yall in the comments- comparing Muhammad Ali to Kylie Jenner is WILD. I can not compute.
Weirdral wrote:
This just makes me think of the XKCD comic where there are two ways to handle someone not knowing a specific reference. You could be an ass and say "How can you not know about this?! Everyone knows about it!" Or you could go in with genuine excitement and go "You don't know about this thing? Let me share with you how awesome this is." How did you go about it?