'I showed up at my ex’s wedding with our kids he abandoned. AITA?' UPDATED

"WIBTA for attending my ex’s wedding and bringing our kids he abandoned?"

My ex-husband (36M) and I (34F) divorced six years ago. It was messy. We were young, impulsive, and he was chasing a lifestyle I couldn’t keep up with: partying, status, image. When I got pregnant, he panicked. Said he “wasn’t ready to be a dad,” and walked away. I never took him to court. I just… raised our twins (6M and 6F) alone. He never met them. Never asked.

I moved cities, built a quiet life, and let go of the anger for the most part. A few months ago, I got a wedding invitation. From him. It was handwritten. “Would love for you to come. No hard feelings. Hope you’re doing well.” I was stunned. We hadn’t spoken in years. I found out later he’d told people we split because I “couldn’t handle his ambition.” That I was “clingy” and “dramatic.”

No mention of the kids. I wasn’t planning to go. But something in me snapped. Maybe it was petty. Maybe it was protective. I RSVP’d yes, and brought our children with me. I didn’t make a scene. I dressed them nicely. We sat quietly in the back. But when he saw us, his face drained. His fiancée looked confused. His mother who had begged me years ago to “keep the kids quiet,” looked like she’d seen a ghost.

After the ceremony, he pulled me aside. Asked why I came. I said, “You invited me. I thought you wanted to show off. So I brought the most beautiful thing you ever made.” He didn’t speak. Just stared at the twins, who were holding hands and looking around like it was a fairy tale.

Now mutual friends are saying I ruined his wedding. That I was vindictive. That I should’ve “let him have his day.” WIBTA for showing up with the truth he’s been running from?

What do you think? AITA? This is what commenters had to say:

Impossible-Bet4750 said:

He got what he asked you for. His shame is his own. You're honestly legendary IMO because you still protected you and your kids peace. NTA.

nuppinhunnie said:

No but you WBTA if you don't get that back child support girl. Put it up for their college if you don't exactly need it. Keep up with his ambition lol what a DICK.

jjj68548 said:

Sounds like his wife invited you, does she know he has kids?

youknowimright25 said:

Nta. He invited you. He never said not to bring his kids. In my opinion. If you invite me. You invite my kids also unless told otherwise.

And thickhipstightlips said:

NTA. He thought he would get to you by seeing him marry off to someone else, and you UNO reversed his ass by bringing the kids he neglected and his (now) wife likely didnt know about.

Who TF invites their ex spouse to their wedding ? He thought he would win, and boooooy did he. Just in a different way.

Two days later, she shared this update:

Thanks to everyone who weighed in on my original post. I wasn’t expecting it to blow up, and I really appreciated the mix of empathy, tough love, and perspective. A few people asked how the kids reacted and what happened with the bride. So here’s the update. My twins are six. They knew we were going to a wedding, but I didn’t tell them it was their father’s. I just said we were going somewhere special.

They were excited dressed up, holding hands, whispering about cake and flowers. When my ex saw us, he froze. I didn’t push. I let the moment speak for itself. After the ceremony, his bride came over. She was calm. Kind, even. She asked, “Are these your children?” I said, “They’re his children. He’s never met them.” Her face changed. Not angry just stunned. She knelt down and said, “Hi. I’m sorry we haven’t met before.”

My daughter smiled. My son asked if she was a princess. My ex didn’t say much. He looked like he wanted the earth to swallow him. I didn’t gloat. I just said, “They’re good kids. You should be proud.” Later, I got a message from his bride. She said she had no idea. That he told her I left him and that there were “no kids.”

She thanked me for coming, said she needed time to process, and asked if she could meet the twins again someday. I don’t know what will happen between them. That’s not my business. But I do know this: my kids saw a beautiful wedding, met kind strangers, and felt like they belonged somewhere they were never supposed to be. And maybe that’s enough.