'Extremely selfish' bride expects recovering mother to come to wedding; AITA?
The process of planning a wedding can unfortunately bring out the worst in people, especially when it comes to years of unearthed family tension that explodes faster than a shaken up bottle of champagne's cork...
So, when a conflicted dad decided to vent to the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's "Am I the As&hole" about his daughter's wedding drama, people everywhere were ready to help deem a verdict.
AITA (Am I the As*hole) for telling my daughter it is extremely selfish to want her mom at the wedding?
My daughter is getting married in a week. My wife got in an accident a week ago. She has a bad concussion and her foot is in a cast now. It could have been so much worse.
The main problem is the concussion, she can not deal with any loud noises, bright lights, and gets overwhelmed easily. Her foot makes it really hard for her to move around right now.
We talked to over and we came to the conclusion she can’t go to the wedding. It would cause her way to much pain to be around that many people and we can’t ask everyone to be quiet at a wedding. We figured a FaceTime call would work for the main ceremony.
We told our daughter and she didn’t take it well. We had a big argument which my wife had to leave for due to her head hurting. I told her I will still be there and she can watch it on FaceTime so she won’t miss it. That didn’t go over well either.
She uninvited me to the wedding if my wife won’t be there. I told her she is extremely selfish she wants her mom at the wedding since she knows about the accident.
She hasn’t talked to me since and I am wondering if we should stick to the decision or have my wife go even though it’s going to be awful for her. I was told to include it is a mountain wedding.
Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say here:
RoyallyOakie said:
NTA...Someone's safety and wellbeing is infinitely more important than a wedding. It's natural for your daughter to be disappointed, but uninviting you is extremely immature.
author124 said:
NTA but how involved has your daughter been with your wife during the aftermath of the accident? Is it possible that her AH behavior could be stemming from the additional stress of her worrying about her mother post-accident?
I realize that seems weird given she's refusing to accommodate her mother's absence, but stress contributes to people doing irrational and sometimes AH things.
I attended a memorial service for an elderly relative about 3 weeks before getting married and that was stressful enough, I can't imagine how it would have been if one of my parents was in a major accident 2 weeks before.
Zimi231 said:
NTA concussions have serious side effects and must be managed carefully. Daughter is inconsiderate and going scorched earth over something completely out of her mother's control.
Ecofre-33919 said:
Nta. Your daughter should be thankful she still has a mother.
spaceyjaycey said:
NTA- wtf is wrong with your daughter? Has she always been a selfish ahole? I would be so upset my mama was hurt! Speedy recovery to your wife!
Weasel_girl666 said:
NTA by a longshot and your daughter is being a selfish brat. Does she have some secret will to cause her mom a bunch of pain or is she that ignorant and needs to read up on how brain injuries work and how serious they are?!
Either way, your daughter is being petulant and self centered. Glad Wifey is safely healing.