Wife threatens divorce because husband "INSISTS" she got breast implants. + Validating Update
"AITA for wanting a divorce because my husband insisted that my breasts are fake?"
KitchenGeneral8618
I (30f) do have a very large chest; a 38G, to be specific. I've been with my husband (33m) for about 10 years and while we have no children together we are happy. Recently, he's been checking out my body more than before and I don't mean in a 'let me take you to bed' kind of way. It's more of a 'what could you be hiding' kind of way.
Now, I am by no means skinny. I am 5'5 and 180 pounds. Nowhere near as good as I could be, but I really don't have any motivation and don't care as long as I don't look like I haven't showered in months and choose to be like that.
Now, I have a multitude of scars on my body and my husband noticed. One is under my armpit, which I got from running up the stairs with my friend and scraping it against the corner of the railing in my old house. The second one in not even sure where it came from.
It's thin though so I'd assume from my childhood cat but it goes down my side about 4 inches and on my rib cage. My husband has been getting into more shows about spouses lying to their partners about things which I do enjoy watching myself.
My husband randomly came up to me and started feeling up on my chest, which isn't out of the ordinary, but still random. I asked him what he was doing and he said how could you lie to me like that. I asked about what and he said my chest.
I said my chest is real what are you talking about? He said no it's not and that I have two scars under my chest that clearly show I had a breat augmentation. I told him that's not how it works and usually they cut under the breast for that. He said they cut on the side as well and that im a lier for not telling him.
I told him I wasn't lying and that he was being weird. Que an argument about them and I left with our cats to my friend's house. The exact friend I'd gotten hurt with. I explained what happened to her and she called my husband and yelled at him. His mother also yelled at him for that, but his dad is on his side.
After I agreed to come back home he said he'd forgive me if I'd just admit that they were fake. I told him that they weren't and that you'd seen me when I was skinny and could tell it was because of my weight gain.
He brought up the time I had to go to my home state and stay for 6 months because my grandmother sadly passed away. My family does eat a lot of fattening foods and when I left for home I was 125 and when i came back i was almost 150. Those eating habits transferred over to my home life and I never really got back into my healthy eating lifestyle.
He continued to pester me about my chest and so I told him I wanted a divorce, or separation at least. He back peddaled and begged me not to but I made up my mind. He called my numerous times after I'd left for a week crying and begging me to come home.
I told him no and that if he couldn't leave it alone I wouldn't come back. He started throwing insulting names as me to which I hung up. Now his friends and girl best friend are calling me an a$$h0l3 for wanting to divorce over a simple issue. so AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers after the OP's initial post:
spider389
He's been you with 10 years why is he now asking if they're fake.
adventuresinnonsense
My great aunt knew me my entire life and then, suddenly, in my twenties, decided I had had lip fillers done. She insisted. Wouldn't believe anyone saying these are the same lips I've had my entire life.
In her defense, she was well in her 70s and her brain had started to be affected by Parkinsons (or the meds for it, I'm not really clear which). So idk what the husband's excuse is.
LonelyOctopus24
His dad sided with him? Mother of Christ, the stupid apple doesn’t fall far from the stupid tree.
Two weeks later, the OP returned with an update.
"UPDATE AITA for wanting a divorce because my husband insisted that my breasts are fake?"
KitchenGeneral8618
I just wanna say thank you for all the support from the messages and the comments. When I posted this I'd already been with my friend for three days. So, it hasn't been that long and I decided to go back home to really talk it out since someone said someone may be saying something to him.
I talked to him about it and his answers constantly changed from no one made him think that to I'd seen something that said their making implants that feel more real (which I've never seen anything saying they were), to finally telling me the truth which was his co-workers were telling him.
I asked him how he could think that knowing that he's seen my body change and he said he didn't know. He showed me the picture of us he showed his co workers, where I was wearing a waist trainer and a body con dress.
While you could still tell I had some weight in my stomach but still a lot in my chest. I rolled my eyes as I set the picture down and stared at him. He eventually told me that his coworkers were telling him so much that they were fake and when he mentioned my scars it just caused him to believe it more.
I said 'so you'd believe your coworkers who you've known for six months and know how they act around women over your wife of 10 years?' He eventually broke down crying ,which was pretty uncomfortable but then said he'd do anything to make me forgive him.
I asked him why would he still think that about me even after feeling them and he said because he didn't want to admit he was wrong and have me hang it over his head.
I told him that I wanted him to find a new job and couples therapy like some of you had suggested. He agreed immediately and began drafting his two week notice. We both make enough and have enough saved to go without jobs for at least a month and a half since we have separate finances and a joint account for bills.
We both make over 100k a year with me in human resources and my husband working in medical. So, when my husband had an office party for one of the bosses birthdays, I wanted to talk to the co-workers who told him what they thought.
When I saw them, I was personally not that shocked. They were decently in shape men, but still not as good as they could have been, with beautiful wives who'd clearly had work done. Nothing crazy, just filler and botox.
While my husband was giving his notice to his boss (not the one whos birthday it was) I went to talk to them and their wives. Their wives were shocked at their husbands had said about me and began to quietly chew into them about that since I assume they were the reason the wives got some work done.
I could be wrong though but still. My husband and I enjoyed the rest of the party and went home. The next day my husband was pestering me to go into work (I'm able to work from home or in the building).
So I agreed after some questioning and went in. When I came home he was nowhere to be found but the entire apartment was deep cleaned like I'd been wanting to do. Lunch was made, and all the cat apliences like litter boxes, food and water bowls, and cat stand had been deeply cleaned as well.
After about 20 minutes of me looking around my husband came back home. He was a little upset I'd come home earlier than he wanted since the carpet wasn't completely dry (he'd cleaned it with our rug cleaner like I'd wanted)
He had made my favorite food that my grandma had made since after the funeral I'd inherited her cookbook and some money. My husband then gave me a few of my favorite flowers (which are hibiscus flowers) and a small handwritten note.
He used to do it all the time in college and when I did an exchange program in brazil for fun. It was a full apology saying how sorry he was and that he should have known to distance himself from his co-workers and should have stopped them from talking about me in a bad light. I smiled and thanked him for the flowers and continued eating.
After I'd finished he cleaned the kitchen for me and took me upstairs and ran a bath for me and picked out some comfy clothes for me and gave me a full body massage without it ending in any funny business.
Later after he'd taken me out to dinner and paid for it all (he always does but its still good to mention) and when we got home, I asked him why his after care was different than usual (it was usually a kiss and cuddling) he then said that he wanted to do more in order for me to forgive him.
He then gave me an even longer apology saying that even after all of this I don't have to forgive him and he knows he was being stupid for not admitting he was wrong and not backing down but he'd do anything to get me to not divorce him even it it meant being a stay at home husband.
I laughed since he was usually the one wanting to be the breadwinner and wanting me to be a stay-at-home wife which is why I work from home for the most part so I can still have my own money.
I told him that I do forgive him and as long as he finds another job and we get therapy it was fine and I wouldn't divorce or do separation. He continuously thanked me and said he thought I'd never forgive him.
I said I thought I was being a little over dramatic when I said a divorce but it's fine. I didn't mention my post on what to do and were happy again, our therapy session is scheduled in the next few days and were bringing the cats back home soon. Thank you again to everyone who gave me advice and did say I was doing a little to much by wanting a divorce and I hope you all are good.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's update:
taorthoaita
I’m cynical and see that whole thing as love bombing. But I genuinely hope the future goes well for you, OP.
Jlpanda
I'm glad there was a happy ending but god that guy is dumb.
FriesWithShakeBooty
I’d lose a lot of respect for him. The feelings I have about OP’s husband are the same feelings I have about the guy who thought his daughter wasn’t his because she looked like his wife.
Similar-Shame7517
I hope this works out for OP, but I really hope her husband doesn't start listening to MMA podcasts or something.
GroovyYaYa
WAIT... HE WORKS IN THE MEDICAL FIELD?
Please God, let him be a pharmacutical salesman or something...