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'AITA for how I reacted to my family asking me about having kids?' UPDATED

'AITA for how I reacted to my family asking me about having kids?' UPDATED


"AITA for my response when my family asked me about kids?"

I'm 22f and I come from a "traditional" family. By that I mean every woman in my family had at least on child before they were 20. Education was never a priority and even tho they aren't religious they believe that a woman's only purpose is to have kids and the man is the provider. Because of this I have 4 younger siblings and about a dozen of cousins.

Being the oldest I had to be a second mother to my siblings and a babysitter for my cousins. This made me realize I don't want kids at the age of 10. 12 years later and my opinion hasn't changed. I don't like kids and i don't want kids. Last year I had my tubes tied and I didn't tell my family.

They're trying to push the idea that I'm nothing and my life in empty without kids on me. I've made my point clear many times but they kept pushing it.

Last night we had a big family dinner and they again tried convincing me to have kids so I shut down everything they said in a not so nice way.

They were going on and on about how amazing being a mom is and how that's their biggest accomplishment so I reminded them of all the times they complained about having to take care of the kids, all the times the would cuss us out for doing kids things, all the times they would tell us how much they regret having us and how we ruined their lives.

I reminded one of my aunts of all the times she would make 10 years old me take care of her 4 kids all under 6 just because she was bored and sick of taking care of them herself. I reminded my dad of all the times he complained about how much money he had to spend on me and my siblings. And of course, I reminded them how they kicked us out at 18 because they don't have to care for us legally speaking.

Then I said, "all my life you've done nothing but complain about having kids and now you're sitting here telling me how kids are the best thing in the world? You're all hypocrites". Then I told them not to call me until they decide to apologize for berating me and I left. They're all pissed at me but my siblings and cousins say I could've made my point without making them feel like bad parents. So AITA?

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

[deleted] said:

NTA. I am so proud of you!! Sometimes truth hurts but it needs to be heard.


NTA. I'm your mom now and I'm SO proud of you!

[deleted] said:

I suspect it takes rudeness to make them stop (at least to your face). NTA. Your life, your body, your decision. I really want to ask where you live as I can't imagine anyone thinking it's a good idea to have kids before you're 20 and without an education. That seems like a very bad idea.


NTA - Your body, your choice. If you don’t want kids, that’s your decision and don’t let people make decisions about a topic that important and life changing for you

said: all. But how did you get your tubes tied at 22 and unmarried? That's great.....but really, really rare to be allowed.

OP responded:

My bffs mom is doctor so thankfully i didn't have to deal with all the stupid "are u sure" questions

And said:

As someone who is being pressured in the same way, good on you for advocating for yourself and your choices. Enjoy your child free life as I also intend to. NTA.

Since her original post, she shared these two updates:

Update 1:

My mom showed up at my apartment demanding that I make a formal apology to the family and berated me for my behavior. Then she went about how disappointed she is that she raised "such a selfish excuse of a daughter" then she left. So i sent the following message in the family group chat: "I will not apologize for defending myself and standing my ground.

I've put up with y'all for too long and I'm sick of having to justify my choices. I will live the way I see fit because it's my life. This so called family never showed me any love or support. Even as a kid I was just a free babysitter for your kids.

I see you will never respect me or my decisions so I don't see a reason for me to stay in contact with you. Do not contact me again. Oh and btw I had my tubes tied a year ago inserts sike gif goodbye" then I blocked them all.

Update 2:

Mom showed up at my work because how dare I talk to my family that way and how dare I not give her grandkids. My boss had to call the police to have her removed because she was hysterical. I'm going to stay with my bff for a while. I'm looking for a new apartment and a new job.

My landlord was very understanding and she offered to help me move my things into storage before 15 January. My lease end 7 January. She said she won't charge me any rent if i can move out by 15. She's amazing.

My boss was also very understanding and offered to help me look for another job.

I'm going to see a lawyer tomorrow to get a restraining order against my family members

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