Father demands his son give him back the family business; 'You've failed to take over.' AITA?

"AITA for wanting my son to give me back the family business he can’t take over?"

I 74M have a son who is 47M who got arrested for a DUI over 15 years ago and he is unable to find a regular job. He has ADHD, is married, and had two daughters. I hired him in my small business which is an office setting many years ago to give him a job for his family.

I have trained him, given him ample opportunity to be successful, and allowed him to hire multiple members of his wife's family and friends. I am still keeping the business afloat for him financially and his wife works a well paying full time job.

They bought almost a million dollar house this year and spend money rapidly like putting their kids in multiple travel sports which cost several thousand a year. I am not one to tell them how to spend their money but I'm providing context for the story.

My son and I had an agreement that I would receive a percentage on any new clients we find which I have found myself. I've had my business for over 50 years. I enjoy working but being 74, I get tired and stressed easily but it keeps my mind occupied.

My wife and I recently purchased a small home and my son came over to help me move a fridge. He started yelling and swearing at me this past week and told me I'm spending too much from the business with my wife and our new home.

I hired some contractors to paint and put in new floors. He told me he was only giving me $9,000 of a $36,000 payment I am owed. My wife and I are on a fixed income.

I told him to get out and he had a big outburst swearing, carrying on, and stressing me out. He doesn't even do his job and I am always doing the brunt of the work. I have decided to take my business back and all my clients and work on my own. He can figure the rest out himself. I'm tired of his lack of commitment.

His wife and him have also alienated my other children and family due to their awful drama and bullying tactics. They didn't attend a family event over the weekend we had and honestly it was the most fun I've had in a long time.

My younger son and daughter both refuse to be around this son and wife due to how awful they have treated them. My daughter hasn't attended a holiday in two years because of this son and his wife and she finally came this past weekend and we had a great time.

AITA to cut my son out of my business?

Let's see what readers had to say:

tariq58 writes:

YTA for not attending to your business earlier. You don't need Reddit, you need a lawyer, like yesterday. The longer you put this off, the worse things are going to get.

Gather up all the paperwork about the transaction and what's happened since then and take it to the lawyer to review. Be prepared to write a very large check to them; this is not going to be an easy fix.

floiu7dne writes:

NTA for cutting him off. But YTA for leaving your other children out of your business for so long. You've seen that your son wasn't capable of taking over the business. You've seen him use you as a personal ATM without even doing the work and you still planned to give him the business? Why?

You have a lot of groveling to do. Your other kids have gone no contact with him long time ago and I wonder why they still even talk to you. You should apologize to them for favoring him for so long.

It seems to me like they deserve to inherit the business far more and they would probably be much better working for the company. You have already given your entitled son his part of the inheritance (he bought a house worth million dollars, FFS). It's time for him to stand on his own two feet now.

felagh writes:

There doesn't seem to be a lot of clarity over what is the business's and what is yours/your son's. Who owns the business? How does your son get money from the business if he's driving it into the ground? Does he pay himself wages, or dividends?

I think YTA slightly for allowing this much ambiguity in the structure of your business, and for offering your ne'er-do-well son a benefit that it sounds like you didn't offer your other children. Clean up the books and formalize the structure, then it's probably time to let your son go.

heleum writes:

NTA - take your business back and lock him, his wife, and anyone else out of all the accounts. Unfortunately, we as parents sometimes think that setting our children up in a business will help establish a future not only for them but also for generational wealth.

Unfortunately, instead of understanding and appreciation for the sacrifices that we made and what we've done for them, the entitlement is so out of control they feel that they deserve all of it. Look at how your son reacted to you buying a house, but it's ok for them to buy a million dollar house with no issue?!

If he is this obsessed with controlling your money now, what is he going to do when you're not well enough or strong enough to say no to him, or need long term care?

You must make sure that he doesn't have access to your or the business money or you will soon find out that you may find yourself with nothing because he clearly thinks that he is more important than you and your wife. I have no doubt that he wouldn't hesitate to take everything and leave you penniless. Please take steps to protect both you and your wife.

faleaghy7 writes:

NTA and you are being treated horribly by your son. Retain an attorney and have the books audited, cut ties with him and start your own business. Once you have it going well then sell it off and use the money to supplement your retirement.