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Father finds out about son's bizarre lifestyle; 'I wish you had never been born.' AITA?

Father finds out about son's bizarre lifestyle; 'I wish you had never been born.' AITA?

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When this father is furious with his son, he asks the internet:

"AITA For telling my son I wished I never had him?"

My son (M23) Cheated on his Fiancé (F24) While she was pregnant with a (M3) Child. When I found out of this mockery I confronted him, he told me he didnt care and shut me out for 3 months.

When he finally decided to talk to me, he told me that him and his fiancé are now polygamous, I told him this shall not be, due to his child (M3).

After a while I talked to his fiancé and she told me a whole different story! I was extremely confused and disappointed in my son.

I told his fiancé about this ordeal and we confronted him (AGAIN). My son proceeded to argue with the both of us, I replied telling him to never come back to my home, and I wished I never had him.

We haven't spoken for 2 years.I still keep in touch with His Ex-Fiancé and my grandchildren, and last I heard, my son ran off to Canada with the girl that he cheated on her with. I wish nothing but bad for my son... Am I wrong?!

Let's see what readers had to say:

crees5 writes:

ESH! "I decided I had a right to stick my nose into someone else's private life. When I got put in my place, I told my child I wished that I'd never had him".

While your son is an ah for cheating, it is 100% none of your business. In fact, I'd say you're just as bad, if not worse than him.

Not only did you not mind your own business, but you told your son that you wished you'd never had him. That is one of the most fucked up things you could possibly say to your child. It's one thing to disagree with and choose to not speak to your son, it's quite another to wish they were never born.

styalla6 writes:

NTA. Your son now has to live with the consequences of his own actions. It's true that you could have handled it less harshly but I can understand if you want to go no contact with him because of this. You're human too with your own boundaries.

Also, I really don't understand why you're the bad guy suddenly and everyone saying that YTA. Most comments despise cheaters when it comes to posts like yours I don't know why you should suddenly forgive him just because he's your son.

garea4 writes:

YTA. You are taking out your hurt and anger on your son and damaging his relationship views further by being so harsh on him. Constructive criticism or disapproval doesnt have to lead to destructive statements like "wish ya didn't exist"

I hope that your connection to your son would mean more to you than writing off him as a person based on actions. Nobody is perfect and loving people through hard times goes a long way.

agrety writes:

YTA - so am I the only one that is seeing that the apple is not falling from from the tree here? Neither son or parent seem to be willing to care for each other. While I get what he did was wrong....stating that you wish nothing but bad for your son seems well.....just as bad as cheating on his Fiancé. You both seem like a mess!!!

aohuytwe writes:

Yes, you are. The love for your child should be unconditional. Yes, they make mistakes. Yes, they will deviate from what you taught, but there should be an uncompromising love.

You do not have to like their opinions or choices, and you do NOT have to enable or approve them, but by the mere fact you brought them into this world, you owe them your love.

The human brain does not fully develop until age 26, barring substance abuse issues, which can delay that, and the areas of the brain that develop at the end affect problem-solving.

Telling someone that you wish you had never had them is at a level of cruelty that is far, far worse than what your son did.

Yes, he abandoned his family, and you could argue that his actions imply a lack of love, but he has left a gray area there that could later be attributed to immaturity, selfishness, other character flaws that are pointed inward and not outward to the child he left behind.

That child (your grandchild) with the help of those around him, including his mother and you, will know that his father abandoning him does not make him less worthy of love.

You, however, by your very words, have left no gray area for your lack of love for your own son. Any chance that he had after maturing and having life experiences that would help grow empathy to see the error of his ways and try to make amends will likely be sabotaged to some degree by this.

Sources: Reddit
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