Father-of-the-bride steals wedding money from grandpa, 'I’m afraid of causing drama.' AITA?
"AITA for telling my grandpa that my dad stole my wedding money?"
I (27/F) am getting married in 2 months. From the beginning, we were wanting to elope but then we decided that we wanted a more traditional but still low budget wedding (as low as you can get with the prices these days) because we didn’t want to regret not doing it.
We spoke with our parents about a budget maybe like 8 months ago and both sides promised to give 10k each. And we would cover whatever was left and the honeymoon. We were very very grateful for that. My mother-in-law has already paid her 10k upfront which helped with all the down payments and venue cost.
My side was supposed to pay their 10K 3 weeks before the wedding to cover food/drinks/any final expenses. Long story short, my father (history of narcissistic behavior) decided last minute that he was not going to do that anymore. We are now 2 months out from our wedding and he is no longer willing to pay anything and we have no savings to cover the cost.
We have already paid out our section as well. We cannot cancel due to our contract and we rather not take a loan out. I tried reaching out to my grandpa to ask for assistance and he told me that he already gave me over 1k for the wedding.
I found out my dad pocketed that money, am I an ahole if I tell my grandpa that he stole the money? I’m afraid of causing drama and being in a worse situation.
Here's what top commenters had to say about that:
LLJKSiLk said:
NTA. Let your dad face consequences if he stole from you.
Sensitive-Iron-5269 said:
NTA. Tell him. You have proof your dad backed out of paying? Your father started the drama by backing out and then withholding/pocketing the money meant for you. You’re just telling the truth that he stole the money. You need to pay those vendors.
blanketstatement5 said:
NTA. You're not entitled to anyone giving you money for your wedding. Unless they agreed to do it, and you made decisions based on their promises, which is the case here. So yeah. Raise a stink. Abusers and narcissists are dependent on people "not wanting to start drama" to get away with their antics.
Geezell said:
NTA. Throw Daddy under the bus and let him face the consequences….
Thecatisright said:
NTA. Let your grandpa know. Actions have consequences.
Serenith_Youkai said:
NTA. Tell your grandfather. Then disinvite your father to the wedding. And don’t let anyone tell you family or blood is more important. If that were true, he wouldn’t have treated you like crap and lied.