'AITA For letting my fiance un-invite his sister from our wedding?'

"AITA For letting my fiance un-invite his sister from our wedding?"

I 25(F) met my now fiance (26M) five years ago and we started dating really quick, a year into our relationship we met each other's families, my family loves him because of how he treats me, he's honestly the most wonderful guy. His family also likes me, the only person I've really had problems with is his older sister (29).

See ever since I've met his family his sister has always had a problem with my weight, I've always been on the bigger side and for the longest time, it took a really long time to gain some self-confidence.

So meeting his family his sister has always made some remarks about how I should do something about my weight, even going as far as to directly tell I'm too ugly and fat for her brother that she doesn't know why he would settle for less.

My fiance never heard any of these things because 1)She's always been good at hiding her disgust of me from him and 2) I never told him because I didn't want to cause trouble between them, he adores his sister.

Well we're getting married in 3 months and 2 weeks ago I finally found my dream dress. I went to my fitting with my mother, future mother in law and sister in law and as I, my mother and mother in law were gushing at how perfect the dress was for me sister was looking at me with what can only be described as disgust.

then she went on a long rant about how I would of course settle for less because nothing good would actually fit me, she went on to detail everything that was wrong with me and how I looked and even with both my mom and hers trying to stop her she did not stop only got worse with her little crash out.

It got to a point where I had to stop everything and just leave. Before I even got home my mother had already called my fiance and told him what happened so understandably he was furious, he sat me down and asked me about it and for the first time in four years I told him everything, we ended up spending the rest of the day crying with him profusely apologizing for never noticing and he promised to fix it.

What I didn't expect was him waking up the next morning and deciding to un-invite his sister to our wedding, his exact words were "A wedding is a celebration of love between the bride and groom and the people who go, go to celebrate them" he said that since she clearly cannot be happy for us, she can save both her time and money and just not go and that was it.

I didn't expect it and when I asked him why he would do that he told me that yes he loves his sister will continue to do so but he will not compromise my day and my happiness just because his sister is small minded.

I had no problem with that, his family however have all called me to apologize on her behalf and ask him to reconsider, at first I refused but now after his mother called me to tell me that I'm being a selfish witch and I'm already tearing her family apart.

What do you think? AITA? This is what commenters had to say:

Only-Ingenuity7889 said:

His mother witnessed sister belittle you at your WEDDING DRESS APPOINTMENT and YOU'RE the witch?? You have nothing to apologize for. She will only do the same at the wedding, if invited. NTA.

Less_Storm_7670 said:

Excuse me ??? Your mother in law sat there and watch your sister in law disrespect you , and she said your a selfish witch?? So what that make her UGLY daughter.

LiveKindly01 said:

This family sounds horrible. Why is MIL coming to YOU to call you hateful? You're not the one who un-invited sister and you're not the one who was hateful. But somehow it's YOUR fault?

Direct your MIL to talk to her son and her own daughter and sort the mess out. They may come to you with an apology and a resolution.

Edit to add - your fiance sounds like a stand-up guy...next time don't hide stuff from him so that he can help you resolve things. You deserve his support, no point hiding stuff to protect him, it comes out anyways.

sog96 said:

Tell your future Monster-in-Law. that her daughter's behavior over several years is tearing her family apart, not you. Also, this is your husband's decision, not yours. You support him but at the end of the day it is his decision.

And I agree with the decision. Your future Monster-in-Law is only looking at saving face with the extended family. She really doesn't care about her daughter's negative behavior on the negative effect it has caused.

If I was a betting man, I would say the daughter most likely voiced her own opinions about you to the Monster-in-Law. The continued behavior would be indicative that the Monster-in-Law cares more about the daughter than her son's and your relationship.

bamf1701 said:

NTA. First of all, your fiancée is worth his weight in gold. He did the exact right thing. Second, note who didn’t call to apologize. Until she does, no one should reconsider anything. Because she likes bullying you and you can bet that she will take some shots at the wedding & reception.

As for your MIL - I can see where the sister gets it from. Her first reaction was to blame the victim. Do not listen to the MIL - you are not tearing the family apart. The family is doing it to itself be protecting a bully. And your fiancée needs to get his mother on line to make sure she doesn’t act up at the wedding either.