'AITA for finally snapping at my husband’s mom in front of his whole family?' 'Here's what happened...'

"AITA for finally snapping at my husband’s mom in front of his whole family?"

So here’s what happened. We went over to his uncle’s house last weekend. Normal family gathering, nothing fancy. I wasn’t even in the mood to go, but he insisted. Said we couldn’t keep skipping things or it would look bad.” Whatever. I went. Barely ten minutes in, I hear her his mom talking to his cousins in the kitchen.

She wasn’t whispering. Like, at all. Loud enough for me to hear from the hallway. Stuff like: She’s lazy doesn’t even take care of the house. I don’t know what my son saw in her. “If I were him, I’d come back home.” Like what?! I cook. I clean. I take care of her grandkid. I’ve kept my mouth shut every time she made her little side comments.

Every time she rearranged my cabinets or folded our laundry like it wasn’t done right. Every. Single. Time. And now she’s out here talking crap about me? Lying, even? In front of the rest of the family? I walked into that kitchen, heart pounding. And I just… said it. “Please stop talking about me like that. You’re always making stuff up and I’m done staying quiet.”

That’s all. I didn’t yell. I didn’t curse. But man, you’d think I flipped the damn table. She froze. Looked shocked. Everyone else just went silent. My husband? Just stared at his plate like it was the most fascinating thing in the world. Then she starts crying. Saying I embarrassed her. That I “disrespected” her in front of the family. That I ruined the night. And suddenly I’m the bad guy?

He didn’t say a word on the way home. Not one. I asked if he was okay and he just said, “You didn’t have to do that.” I didn’t have to? Are you serious? I’ve been biting my tongue for months.

She’s made me feel small, like I don’t belong. I’ve tried to win her over. I’ve been nothing but respectful. And he knows it. But now he’s mad at me? So yeah… I don’t know. Was I wrong for finally calling her out? AITA?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Inevitable_Speed_710 said:

Next time you're all together ask your MIL if there is a return policy on her son. This one is defective as it is missing a spine.

biteme717 said:

Tell him to pack up and go back home, and you will send the divorce papers there. He sat there and listened to his mom berate and insult you and didn't do anything about it and hasn't done anything about it. Tell him that you thought you married a man and not a mama's boy.

grayblue_grrl said:

NTA...Your husband is not your partner, he is his mother's child. HE SAT THERE AND LISTENED TO HER LIE ABOUT YOU AND SAID NOTHING! That level of disrespect is untenable. I'd have his bag packed as soon as we got home.

He can go back to live with the lying cow and you can live your life without her in it. Talk to a lawyer. Seriously. You did nothing wrong. Nothing. She lies. And cries to manipulate people.

lostinthought1997 said:

"I didn't have to do that? No. I SHOULDN'T have to do that. She was spreading lies about me in your hearing, AGAIN. YOU should have stopped her. YOU should have defended me. I shouldn't have to correct YOUR relatives.

That is YOUR job. You refused to do your job, I did it for you. If you don't want me to defend myself and stand up to your mother's lying, jealousy, and bullying, then YOU had better do it first."

NTA. Is it possible that he didn't defend you because he agrees with her? Is he resentful because you don't spoil him like his mummy does, but instead you expect him to be a husband and equal partner?

Sad-Country-9873 said:

NTA - but you have a husband issue. You may want to determine if you want a puddle for the rest of your life.

cwrightbrain said:

“You didn’t have to do that…” My response: “yes I did. Because you didn’t step up and stand up for me first.” NTA.