'AITA for firing our nanny because she fell asleep while the baby was napping?'
"AITA for firing our nanny because she fell asleep while the baby was napping?"
I (32F) hired a nanny (20F) to watch my 3 month old daughter. Her schedule is 5AM–5PM, Monday through Friday. Yes, it’s a long shift, but she agreed to it. To me, that means she should be fully alert the entire time she’s here. I don’t think that’s asking too much. Last week, I had to run back home at around 10AM because I forgot one of my files at home. I checked the nursery, everything was fine.
Then I walked into the living room and found the nanny completely asleep on the couch. She had a blanket over herself as well. I woke her up and she immediately apologized and said she didn’t mean to fall asleep.
She told me she’d been having trouble sleeping at night because she has a special needs younger brother, and she’s been the one helping care for him since his condition has been flaring up lately. She insisted it wouldn’t happen again.
I felt bad, but in my mind, personal circumstances aren’t an excuse for falling asleep on the job, especially one that starts at 5AM. I told her that regardless of the situation, I need someone who can stay awake during the full 12-hour shift. I honestly don’t understand how that’s unreasonable when she knew the hours from the start.
After thinking about it for maybe an hour, I decided to terminate her employment that same afternoon. She cried and asked if I could give her a warning or a chance to adjust things at home, but I didn’t want to risk anything happening with the baby. I’m not paying someone to sleep, period.
My sister is furious with me and says I acted heartlessly, especially since the baby was napping too and everything was safe. She also said it’s unrealistic to expect someone to stay fully alert for 12 hours straight with no downtime, especially someone dealing with extra responsibilities at home.
My husband is siding with me, but he usually does. So now I’m wondering: AITA for firing her immediately rather than giving her a warning, even though she explained why she’s been so tired?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
RainierCherree said:
Wait. Do you sleep when you’re responsible for the baby? Thought so. YTA.
thisisgettingdaft said:
I think it probably illegal to have someone work a 12 hour shift without a break. YTA.
Tamiasangel said:
YTA. At least give the girl a warning and a second chance.
RemembrancerLirael said:
YTA. Your expectations are quite literally insane.
Lunar-Eclipse0204 said:
YTA - sorry but your child was sleeping she can have a break as well and it's actually required by law she get one!
Stefie25 said:
YTA. You have outrageous expectations. Are you fully alert when you’re home with your kid? Doubt it. If the kid is asleep, the nanny can have a sleep. Just like you do when your kid is asleep.
Weird_Bluebird_3293 said:
YTA. You have this girl working 60 hours a week taking care of your kid and you expect her to never catch a break? Do you have any idea how common it is for mothers to nap when their kid naps?
For some moms that’s the only time of day they can get off their feet. Put the kid down for nap time, turn on the monitor, and take a nap themselves. Moms do it all. The. Time. You’re completely unreasonable being this rigid.