First-time mom expects her husband to do 'her job' while she's on maternity leave. AITA?

"AITA for expecting my husband to do 'my job' while I’m on maternity leave?"

I don’t even know where to start. I feel like I’m drowning, but maybe I’m the one at fault for expecting too much. I’m 27F and a first-time mom to a 7-week-old baby girl Daisy. She’s beautiful, but she cries all the time. The doctors call it colic, but it feels like I must be doing something wrong. Isn’t a mother supposed to be able to comfort her child? I can’t even manage that.

The past few weeks have been a blur of pain, exhaustion, and failure. My C-section scar still throbs when I move too much, and sleep is a distant memory. I don’t remember the last time I slept more than two hours in a row.

My husband, Mark (31M), tells me I’m overreacting. He works long hours and says he needs his rest, so I do the nights alone. Every feeding, every diaper change, every midnight sobbing session (both hers and mine)—it’s all me.

Then there’s my MIL, Susan. She moved in three weeks ago after a fight with my FIL. She has taken over the living room, refuses to help with the baby because “that’s your job,” and makes passive-aggressive comments about how I’m not keeping the house clean enough.

I thought it would be temporary, but she shows no sign of leaving. She has been treating me like a live-in maid. She doesn’t cook for herself or for anyone else. Instead, she’ll drop hints like, “It’d be nice if there were some tea,” while I’m juggling a screaming baby. Yesterday, she had friends over for “book club,” and they spent the afternoon laughing loudly and commenting on how messy the house was.

I wanted to scream. Instead, I hid in the nursery and cried. And the dog—God, our dog got sick. He’s been vomiting everywhere for days. Mark refuses to help because it was “my idea” to get a dog in the first place. Between cleaning up after him, trying to soothe a baby who won’t stop crying, and keeping the house somewhat livable, I feel like I’m losing my mind.

The worst was last week when I got mastitis. My fever hit 102°F, and I could barely stand, let alone take care of the baby. I begged Mark to take a day off to help, but he said work was too busy. That night, he ordered takeout for himself, ate in the living room with Susan, and didn’t even ask if I wanted anything.

Yesterday, everything came to a head. The baby was screaming, the laundry machine broke mid-cycle, the dog threw up on the couch, and Susan decided to host another “book club” without asking me.

I hadn’t eaten all day, and I was shaking from exhaustion. I begged Mark to ask his mom to leave or at least help me get through the day. He looked at me like I was crazy and said, “You’re the one on maternity leave. What else do you have to do?”

I don’t remember what I said back, but it doesn’t matter. He stormed out, leaving me with the mess, the baby, and Susan glaring at me like I was the problem. Later, she told me I was a bad wife for upsetting him and that I should be grateful he works so hard for us.

I feel like I’m failing—at being a mom, a wife, a person. Maybe they’re right. Maybe I’m selfish for expecting help. Maybe I’m a bad mother because I can’t stop my baby from crying. Maybe this is all my fault. I don’t know anymore. AITA?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

PositionSuch1097 said:

NTA, not even close. Your husband and MIL are toxic, abusive, and disgusting human beings. The fact that your husband can’t take one day off to help his wife who’s literally sick with a fever is appalling.

And your MIL having the audacity to host her friends while you’re struggling? Absolutely vile. Your husband is a pathetic excuse for a partner, and your MIL is a leech. Divorce him and go no contact with her. They’re both worthless.

RemoveMountain89 said:

NTA. Divorce the husband. ASAP.

Disastrous_Gate_5559 said:

Do not for a second believe they are right. Ever. I am disgusted by what you wrote - but for entirely different reasons than you think. Cause YOU, momma, fuck rock! How are you still standing? Pure willpower and love for your child is my humble guess. Cause support from all the lazy bums around you surely aint it.

You’re doing an incredible job - i am deeply impressed and wish everyone could have a mom like you! You will get through this and i just know your baby will one day be in awe of what you survived, just like me now. I cant even utter all the words that want to leave my lips but your MIL and sorry excuse of a husband are beyond saving.

I’m sure others here are more qualified to connect you to the proper resources for help. But this aint right. Get a friend to come pick you up cause if nothing else you at least need a kind word and a warm meal. So much NTA, i’m rooting for you!!

empathy10 said:

Do you have any family support at all? My heart breaks for you. Your husband's behavior is atrocious and I'd be hard pressed to forgive him if I were in your shoes. As for your mil, don't hesitate for one second to tell her that you aren't doing anything for her and that she needs to either be a good guest or have a date set for her departure.

ladyl38 said:

NTA, are your family and or friends nearby to support you? You need to get out of that house ASAP. This is not okay, call your doctor and talk to him about your concerns for your baby and yourself, cry loudly if you have to and make him write a note for your husband.

Fluffy-Scheme7704 said:

Pack your bags, take your kid and leave them. He is a bad husband, deadbeat and your MIL is toxic. Divorce his ass cause it will only get worse. NTA.