'AITA for flipping out after my GF gave a guy her number at a bar?'

"AITA for flipping out after my GF gave a guy her number at a bar?"

I consider myself a pretty loving, progressive, and thoughtful guy. The actions of my girlfriend (I guess ex now), however, have me questioning a lot of about myself.

Backstory: I fell in love with a coworker back in June. We fit so naturally together that we quickly grew close and even got to know each other’s families within the first two months of dating. I decided to invite her on my 29th birthday trip to Colorado to meet my closest friends while enjoying the natural beauty of my favorite state.

On the second night of the trip, she got insanely drunk and kissed the neck of one my best friends. She also was giving massages to other people and braiding the hair of other guys. When my friends came up to me to inform me that her actions were making me everyone feel uncomfortable, I had to do something.

Upon asking her why she was doing those things, she went on the offensive, cursed me out, said horrible things, and tried leaving in the middle of the night (mind you, we were in a remote cabin hundreds of miles away from any “big” city).

One of my best friend’s girlfriend managed to calm her down. GF broke up with me and locked herself in the room we were supposed to share. I ended up sleeping on the couch alone on my birthday night.

The next couple of days, she attempted to rectify the situation by apologizing to everyone and telling me she wasn’t cheating on me or flirting with other people, but that she was just “an affectionate” person. Now, she is a very loving and kind person, but to me, those action on my birthday night were incredibly disrespectful to me and the relationship as a whole.

Upon returning home, we went our separate ways for a couple of days until we got back together under the condition that she would go to therapy and not drink as much. I forgave her for the most part, but her actions that night just kept itching me the wrong way. Regardless, I told her that I would give her a second chance.

Most recently: We went to one of our favorite bars for karaoke night. Her mom and aunt showed up to the bar because I guess she invited them without my knowledge. Her and her family got hammered.

Towards the end of the night, the mom and aunt got into some kind of argument. Out of nowhere, GF goes up to a random guy, chats him up, and then comes back to the table. Because of the mom and aunt dispute, GF insisted on driving them both home.

Upon picking up GF to take her back to my place, she told me how her mom and aunt called her out for flirting with another guy at the bar, which she denied. I was “okay” with the situation until I found out that she had given the guy her number…

I saw red. I told her she ruined her second chance with me and asked her to get out of my car. And once she refused, I started yelling. Very against my nature.

Her excuse was that the guy was the owner of the bar and she wanted him as a reference? For maybe a job? She was drunk so I’m just as confused as you are.

Anyway, I told her to never contact me again and to leave me alone. I pretty much screamed that she wasn’t ready for a relationship and was consistently disrespectful to me and our love. I bagged up her things, gave them to her, and she drove off crying. AITAH?

This is what people had to say to OP:

avast2006 said:

She begged for a second chance, you gave her a second chance, she lit her second chance on fire. So now she’s out. That’s literally how second chances work. NTA

Ashamed_Quiet_6777 said:

Moral of the story, cheaters don't deserve second chances. NTA.

Vyckerz said:

NTA - she and her family sound like train wrecks when they drink. Plus she was drunk but drove her mom and aunt home? Sounds like a bullet dodged but not sure why she got the second chance in the first place.

Intrepid2022 said:

How long ago was 'recently'? I refer to when her mother and aunt were present as well ? NTA, you warned her the first time. Since then, did she try to contact you? It's a coworker which may complicate things. Do you work together?

OP responded:

The bar incident happened this past Friday. She’s texted me once or twice about things she lost since then. As far as a full conversation since that night, none.

nigel_pow said:

Why are you asking if YTA?

And OP responded:

Because I exploded with vocal anger. I yelled and said some pretty true but harsh things (she wasn’t ready for a relationship, she’s an alcoholic and needs help, her own family called her out, etc)