"AITA for announcing my pregnancy at Thanksgiving?"
My husband and I recently found out we're pregnant. We are really excited about the news, but want to wait until the end of my first trimester to make sure everything is well with the pregnancy. So we decided to announce our pregnancy at Thanksgiving, when the whole family was together, so that we could tell everyone at once.
I only told two people in my family, and I knew that they could keep a secret; besides that, no one else knew. As soon as we made the announcement, one of my sisters broke down crying and was very upset.
She wanted to know first and was upset that I didn't tell her, since she always told me about all her pregnancies first. But my sister cannot keep a secret; she's a constant gossiper, especially with family. I told her first that I got into graduate school, and she told my parents before I could; she announced my engagement to my mom before I could.
So my husband and I decided to keep it a secret, especially until we knew everything was healthy with the baby. I knew if I told her first, she would tell everyone in the family, and it would really upset me if I found out my whole family knew before I wanted them to.
After she found out I didn't tell her first at the dinner table, she full-on started crying. After that, she went after other people in my family, my parents, and my other siblings. They were just overall agitated and crying, and made everyone at Thanksgiving upset.
And honestly made me feel bad when we made the announcement. So am I the ahole for not telling her first, even though she always told me her pregnancies first?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Narwal_Pants said:
NTA, she wanted to spread the news bc she wants to make it about her. She overreacted at thanksgiving to get empathy and attention and make it about her. She’s horrible. I’m sorry.
NYCStoryteller said:
NTA. I would have called her out for her reaction and told her straight up that I will never tell her anything first, because she's a gossip and always spills the beans to the rest of the family. It doesn't matter that she "told you first". You're under no obligation to reciprocate. You get to share your good news in YOUR way, in YOUR own time.
Brave_Tadpole2072 said:
Your sister has main character syndrome and made your exciting announcement all about her. That sucks. NTA.
willowviolet said:
NTA. Not only did she make your happy news about herself in the past when she spilled your secrets, but she again made it about herself with her ridiculous reaction. I am not a licensed physician, but as a Southern lady of a certain age, I am telling you that your sister is not right in the head.
phunkjnky said:
NTA. In the moment of her crying and trying to make the moment about her... you should have said, "See this?" And made a gesture that indicates the way that she was behaving. "THIS is exactly why we didn't tell you."