'AITA for asking my wife to not wear pimple patches to a wedding?'

"AITA for asking my wife to not wear pimple patches to a wedding?"

First things first, I (41m) love my wife (43f). I think my wife is a gorgeous woman with gorgeous skin. My wife has struggled with cystic acne her whole teenage and adult life. She's a teacher at an all-girls private high school and my wife would wear visible star-shaped pimple patches (without makeup) in class to help the students feel more comfortable.

I think that's wonderful in that context. Also, I honestly think my wife looks cute wearing those pimple patches. But thing is, our daughter (13f) is struggling with cystic acne just like her mom. My daughter, wife, and I are going to my sister's (37f) wedding.

My wife wants to go wearing visible star-shaped pimples patches without makeup. My daughter has told me she doesn't want people there paying extra attention her mom's acne since they may then pay extra attention to her acne as well. Also, my sister is laid back but I think she wouldn't want one of her guests to wear very visible pimple patches.

Without bringing up our daughter's concerns since she didn't me to tell her mom this, I asked my wife to please do NOT wear very visible pimple patches to my wedding.

She got upset with me and is now questioning my previous statements when I had told her that she looks cute with them. I had mentions my concerns of how my sister may feel. I thought that would be enough but it wasn't. Am I the ahole?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Exotic-Rooster4427 said:

I think there is difference from everyday empowerment and being visible in photos for a wedding that the bride will spend a lot of money on. It's a formal setting and she needs to be in a formal setting. To each your daughter's confidence it might he nice to get a makeup artist to do her makeup. Hair. Some nice clothes. Spoil her a little.

RayceC said:

NTA: Tell her that you love her in sexy undies but you wouldn't want her to go to a wedding in only them. So questioning your previous statements about them being cute is a bit over the top. There is a time and place for everything and pimple patches at a wedding is pretty tacky IMO.

springflowers68 said:

NTA. But be careful how you approach the topic. I find it rather odd she would want to wear something on her skin that is visible and draws more attention than wearing a foundation for a few hours. I would not ask your sister, she has enough going on with wedding planning.

Whatever your wife decides to do, support her by ignoring the patches. But strongly suggest you take your daughter to a dermatologist to find a solution where she won’t feel self-conscious.

Nazgog-Morgob said:

Star pimple patches at someone else's wedding is...Kinda insane behavior. And it's incredibly self centered behavior. You are NTA.

Mizz3llie said:

This is ridiculous. As a mom of a teenager, I get what the daughter is saying. There's a time and place for star patches and a WEDDING isn't it. Especially if it's going to make your child feel self conscious. Tell her to buy a pack of clear ones for the wedding if she absolutely can't go without.

And honestly, if I had to meet with one of my kid's teachers who had stars all over her face, I would feel like she doesn't take her job seriously. Wife needs to grow up a little. And while acne can be frustrating, there are adult ways to go about treating it. Not everything needs to be a statement.

Ginger630 said:

NTA! She’s a grown woman and wants to wear visible pimple patches to a wedding? I think you and your daughter need to sit down and with your wife and talk to her about this. Help your daughter tell her mom how she feels.

Inner_Internet_3230 said:

NTA it’s pretty ridiculous she plans to wear stickers on her face to a wedding in the first place.