"AITA for breaking up with my GF over a glass of water?"
For context, I (29M) have been feeling taken for granted by my GF (24F) for a while. We've argued about this and she has seemed to be understanding and has been a bit more attentive since. Until last night.
She was staying over at my place, was on her period and feeling a bit sick, so we watched a movie and went to sleep. In the middle of the night, say it was 1am, she wakes me up and just says "water." I always make sure to say the words "please" and "thank you" to everyone, specially my loved ones, so it really didn't land well on me.
But anyways, she claims that her periods are pretty painful, and I preferred to assume that she was half asleep, so I went to the kitchen for a glass of water and brought it to her. As soon as she finished the water, she went back to sleep without even acknowledging my action. No thank you, no hug, no kiss, nothing. I got so pissed that I went to sleep to another room.
This morning, she noticed that I hadn't slept with her and asked me if everything was okay. I told her why I was pretty upset, and that I love to take care of and serve my partner but I expect a "please," a "thank you" or a gesture of appreciation.
To be honest I didn't think it was much of an issue and I was hoping to talk it out with her. But then, she immediately rolled her eyes and said "can't believe all this is over a glass of water, that's the bare minimum I expect from my BF."
I won't explain the argument that followed, but I've decided to break up with her. I feel like my life would consist on serving her with no appreciation. We all make mistakes, but not being able to being accountable and apologizing is a deal-breaker to me.
I've told my close ones about my decision and most of them think I overreacted. Only my parents have told me that I should be aware that this kind of behavior won't change with time and it's definitely up to me to decide if I'm able to put up with it. AITA?
NOTE: 90% of you believe I'm NTA, but I did read some nasty comments. Just to clarify: 1) I don't expect a please or thank you for every single action of my partner, but I of course do if they wake me up at 1am.
2) It wasn't like she was screaming in pain, she was just feeling a bit tired. Some of you have assumed that she was agonizing but she actually went back to sleep immediately, so I don't think it was that much about her period to be honest.
3) Going to sleep to another room it's actually something I do when I feel I will have trouble sleeping. I feel like I start to move around a lot and I will wake up the other person.
4) There has been behavior like this in the past.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
HereComesTheSun000 said:
Make it very clear that you aren't breaking up over a glass of water. You are breaking up over her lack of basic manners and the way she speaks to you with disregard. NTA.
Clean_Permit_3791 said:
“Please and thank you is the bear minimum I expect from any human being." NTA.
Helln_Damnation said:
NTA. I think that the glass of water was just the breaking point after lots of other little things.
Competitive_Mark_287 said:
NTA and it’s not the glass of water it’s her reaction the morning after that shows she’s not a kind person.
Quiet-Reflection5366 said:
Your parents are absolutely right, it will not change. NTA.