'AITA for bringing the 'wrong' kind of wine to a coworker's party?'

"AITA for bringing the 'wrong' kind of wine to a coworker's party?"

I (28m) have a coworker "Jane" (30sF) who is a very passionate vegan. Like it's a huge part of her personality and she talks about it a lot, which is cool, whatever floats your boat. We all get along at work. Last weekend she had a few of us over to her place.

I was running super late and didn't have time to make a vegan dish. I felt bad showing up with nothing so on the way I grabbed a bottle of what I thought was a decent red wine as a host gift.

I get there, hand it to her, and say thanks for having me. She looks at the label, and I swear to god her face just...dropped. She looks at the bottle like I just handed her a bucket of KFC. She says "Oh. Thanks" in this super flat voice and puts the bottle on a little table in the corner, like a corner of shame, away from all the other food and drinks. The vibe was just WEIRD with me for the rest of the night.

The next day at work, Jane's "work bestie" comes up to me while I'm making coffee and in this super hushed, intense voice, tells me that many wines use animal products like fish bladders or egg whites to filter them. She said I was "incredibly thoughtless" and made Jane feel "unsafe in her own home" by bringing it.

I was completely blindsided. How was I supposed to know wine has fish guts in it? I apologized to the bestie and then I texted Jane and said "hey I'm so sorry about the wine, I honestly had no idea. I'll be more aware in the future." She texted back "I appreciate the apology but your lack of awareness was telling. I need some space."

Now for the last few days, I've been getting the full on silent treatment from her and her little clique. They stop talking when I walk into the break room. I found out yesterday I was removed from our non-work "lunch buddies" group chat.

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. I made an honest mistake about something I didn't even know was a thing. I apologized for it! But now I'm being treated like I kicked her dog or something. I think this is a completely unhinged reaction, but maybe I'm the ahole for not googling it first? AITA? Did I commit some huge vegan sin I didn't know about?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

katy405 said:

You should probably report this to HR. Their behavior is off the rails. You are being treated badly at work for something that happened on personal time.

blueyedwineaux said:

NTA. Long time strict vegetarian with a severe fish allergy AND wine industry professional here. If the wine is mass produced (most grocery store wines) it will not have egg whites or isinglass (fish bladders) or gelatin in them. Eggs are too expensive. Isinglass has fallen out of favor for bentonite clay for fining and/or modern filtration (so even if used, we are talking about parts per trillion).

If she has an issue with you not knowing, that is HER issue and she is overreacting on a massive scale. It makes me wonder, does she know how many bugs get ground up in her peanut butter and other products?

rage_bunny said:

NTA. I am vegan, I would never respond like that if I was your coworker in this situation. She was unnecessarily rude and judgy when you were trying to be polite and thoughtful.

I would’ve been thrilled you brought SOMETHING, and the “unsafe in her own home” comment is the dumbest thing I’ve heard in a while. It’s not like you backed her into a corner and forced her to drink the wine…f this person, OP. You were not in the wrong here. I promise not all vegans are like that.

owls_and_cardinals said:

NTA. This is an unhinged reaction, and extremely punitive given the circumstances. The whole thing is just so over the top...the references to "safety," the request for space, the way everyone is falling in line.

Their behavior is what is telling. Maybe write that group off because they frankly sound toxic. Do you really want people in your life that are so incredibly intolerant of minor human errors, that take extreme offense to essentially kind gestures they don't deem "worthy," and who work this hard to be victims?

1954planteater said:

NTA. I'm vegan (over 15 years now) and it was a shock to me when I learned about animal products in wine and liquor. I would NOT heap shame on someone for bringing wine to my home.

Fishboyman79 said:

NTA you’re better off without them. They sound very tiring. If you want to put the cat amongst the pigeons, use the word bullying if you are talking to other colleagues about the situation in work. You made an honest mistake, what she is doing is deliberate. People like her friends who like to act offended on others behalf won’t want a bully label. HR won’t like it either.