"AITA for changing my childcare situation?"
My husband’s sister used to watch my 2 1/2-year-old two days a week during the school year. She floated the idea a few summers ago. I was up front that he was already in a super affordable ($350/mo) program and the absolute max our budget allowed was $400/month.
My mother-in-law and sister help me and I have a flexible schedule so I only need two days of paid childcare. I realize $400 is not a lot, but I was extremely clear about what we were able to pay. Before this school year started, my sister-in-law asked to increase the cost to $500/month.
I was set to student teach in a matter of weeks and it was relatively last minute so we said yes. Two weeks ago, she told us she had to increase the number to $600/month to be closer to a fair market value. I was luckily able (by begging) to get my son back in the original program we had him in.
I told my SIL I would give her a glowing reference and I was super grateful for her, but that I couldn’t afford her rates. I sent her money for the first two weeks of November even though she didn’t watch him those weeks.
She tried to walk it all back and say we could go back to $500. Then back to $400. Then she was like “screw it, I’ll do it for $300.” At this point, I’m regretting the whole thing and will for the rest of my freaking life. There is bad blood now and I wouldn’t send my son into the middle of it anyway.
My other SIL said that I am kind of an AH because I unexpectedly left my SIL without the income she depended on and she can’t pay her car insurance. AITA here? Also whether I am the AH or not? Please take a lesson from this story not to mix business and family.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
WhereWeretheAdults said:
Oh NTA. Your SIL was just steadily increasing the cost to see how much she could pump you for. She didn't expect you to actually find something cheaper. This is all on her. Tell the other SIL that it was SIL that "unexpectedly" increased her rate twice after agreeing to a sum. SIL is just dealing with the consequences of her own actions.
skipoet said:
NTA. She got greedy and there are consequences for that. Tell your other SIL to pay for her car insurance.
Malice_A4thot said:
NTA but your husband should be the one dealing with his family.
ProudCatLadyxo said:
NTA. This is all on your SIL by raising her prices not once, but twice, beyond what you could afford. Classic FAFO. You really had no choice but to find a new place for your son. You were very lucky to get into the original program.
chaserscarlet said:
NTA, you were upfront about costs and she got greedy. You can up your fees but you can’t stop someone going elsewhere when you do. Perhaps you could have given her the heads up that you’ll be re-enrolling elsewhere so she could reevaluate her offer, but she blew this deal up herself.
Missbri410 said:
NTA. You have an amazing spot at a real place you might potentially lose...her hobby she is trying milk you for is weird. There will be tension every check.
Icy-Outlandishness-5 said:
NTA. Your SIL however, is. She knew your budget and thought because she was “family“ she could raise it and you’d cave. No ma’am! She FAFO’d.
Gigi-lily said:
NTA. You didn't leave her unexpectedly without income, she tried to pull a fast one and now has to face the consequences. I had an aunt try that with my youngest brother except my mom was luckily able to get him in to a full week vs a few days.
She stopped as soon as my aunt claimed my mom needed to pay her for holidays when she didn’t have him because that is what she is paying the daycare. Please note my mom was giving her money for groceries on top of it.
Some people stop viewing family as family once they push a boundary and it is accepted.She can find another way to get income and remember she is the one who cause the bad blood and should be so ashamed of herself.